


Coming Home

by 51stcenturygirl



Series: My future is our future and I will spend it with you [10]
Category: Downton Abbey
Genre: Allies, Angst, Banter, Childhood Memories, Christmas, Christmas Tree Decorating, Dancing, Dogs, Flirting, Friendship, Gen, Homophobia, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Injury, Kisses, M/M, Multiple Couples, References to prison, Romance, Snow, Snowball Fights, Telephone Conversations, Unrequited Love, a lot of things to tag not sure if i've covered everything, blunt conversations, fear of the dark, huge romantic gesture by richard, inconvenient weather, more romance, not tagging what the present is, oc pairing, old friends visit, richard misses thomas, richard's parents - Freeform, separated but later reunited, servants ball, thomas and chris are guardian angels, thomas and richard buy each other a wonderfully romatic christmas present, thomas can't keep his mind off richard, thomas helps out a friend in need, thomas misses richard
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-28
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-12 15:27:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 41,253
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29761716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/51stcenturygirl/pseuds/51stcenturygirl
Summary: Thomas and Richard plan on spending their first Christmas together, but events beyond their control threaten to ruin their perfect Christmas.Follows on from 'In Thirty Years, I'll Still Love You'
Relationships: Original Male Character(s)/Original Male Character(s), Thomas Barrow & Chris Webster, Thomas Barrow/Richard Ellis
Series: My future is our future and I will spend it with you [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2077305
Comments: 8
Kudos: 26





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Yes this is a Christmas story and I originally began it in September, but it is so much more than just Christmas...

The first things that Thomas thought of as he woke in the very early morning was the fact that it was absolutely freezing, though it had been this way for weeks now, since it was the middle of December. He and Richard had every blanket they owned on their bed, and they warmed the bed with a hot water bottle before they went to sleep each night which helped, but the chill was very noticeable in the morning. Thomas honestly wouldn't have been surprised if the glass of water next to his side of the bed was frozen solid. Thankfully, it wasn't but there was no way he was drinking it. Nope, he'd be having tea or hot chocolate, anything warm and inviting. Speaking of warm and inviting, the second thought that occurred to him as he became more awake was that Richard was not in bed next to him. It was early. Half past five to be exact,  _ woken before the alarm again, _ Thomas thought. The third thought to float through his sleepy mind. Though his mind shifted back to the second thought of where was Richard at this time in the morning?  _ Perhaps he went to the bathroom,  _ Thomas wondered. He was about to get out of bed to look for his lover when he heard a loud scraping sound on the stairs, followed by a crash and then several words uttered from Richard's mouth that he would not dare repeat upstairs in front of Lord Grantham if he valued his position as head of staff.

Thomas reluctantly relinquished what little warmth he had from being in bed and quickly pulled on a dressing gown and went to see what all that noise was about. When he opened the door between the living room and the top of the stairs, he did not expect to be greeted by a large amount of foliage belonging to, what Thomas could recognise in the dim light of the stairway, as a christmas tree. A rather large one judging by the fact that it was almost as wide as the stairs, and that he couldn't see Richard at first. "Richard what are you doing?"

There was a scrambling noise and more scraping of branches against the wall before Richard answered, "Oh, morning dear. I was hoping not to wake you. Did I wake you?"

"You did," Thomas said, an amused expression on his face.

"Oh I'm sorry. I thought I'd try to get this thing upstairs before you got up. It would have been a nice surprise for you to see it upstairs, instead of on the stairs with me underneath it at the bottom of the stairs," Richard said, though Thomas could still not properly see Richard as he spoke.

"Are you okay? I heard a crash," Thomas asked.

"Oh I'm fine, though my dignity has been destroyed I'm afraid," Richard replied from beyond the christmas tree. Thomas could hear the smile in his voice, that in spite of himself, he found the situation amusing. "It looked a lot smaller outside."

Thomas pushed a few branches out of the way so he could now see Richard near the bottom of the stairs. "You should have woken me. I could have helped. It would still have been a nice surprise," Thomas said.

"I didn't want to. We were late last night, you needed to sleep," Richard said.

"Well, I'm here now so I suggest on three, and we get this thing upstairs?" Thomas said.

"Thanks," Richard said. "On three then. One. Two. Three." On the third count Thomas pulled the top of the tree upwards, while Richard lifted the bottom of it. After a bit of careful maneuvering around the various hazards of the living room such as the chairs, the lampshade on the ceiling and the clock on the mantelpiece that almost became a casualty of Richard's festive spirits, they positioned the tree in the corner of the room, so that it would be the first thing anyone sees as they walk upstairs. "There. Not bad," Richard said, hands on hips looking at the tree in the corner of the room.

Thomas found Richard's childlike joy at the Christmas tree being in place adorable, but he himself couldn't help but think more practically. He walked over to the clock and straightened it from its crooked position on the mantelpiece, and then saw the messy trail of pine needles leading towards the stairs and down them. "That's what I can't stand about these things," Thomas said. "They leave a trail of needles that are impossible to completely clean up. The tree the upstairs lot have leaves so many, that the maids are coming across them weeks after the tree is taken down."

"Oh relax my dear. It's part of the fun of it," Richard said. "I'll clean them up later I promise," he said, facing Thomas and placing both his hands on Thomas's hips, whilst kissing away the frown on Thomas's face. Thomas tried to resist, but Richard's kisses would always make him feel good inside so it was impossible to even pretend to be angry.

"Fine," Thomas said, smiling back. "Don't suppose there's any point in me going back to sleep?"

"No I suppose not, sorry," Richard said. "I'll make it up to you. Bring you up a mug of something warm for when you come out the bathroom?"

"It's fine really, but some hot chocolate would be nice," Thomas said.

"Consider it done," Richard said, giving Thomas a quick kiss before going downstairs.

"Richard!" Thomas called after him. "The shirt you're wearing will need changing. Not sure if you noticed but there is a rip in the sleeve."

"Oh wonderful," Richard said sarcastically.

"I'll fix it for you later if you like?" Thomas offered.

"No, don't worry about it. I'll do that this evening. I'll have more time than you," Richard said.

...

Twenty minutes later and Thomas came out the bathroom and into the bedroom to find Richard putting a new shirt on, his hair now a lot neater and missing the few pine needles that had found their way into his hair from the incident earlier. "As promised," Richard said, handing Thomas a warm mug of hot chocolate, which was appreciated on such a cold morning.

"Mmm, thank you," Thomas said, after taking a couple of sips, warming his hands in the process, before placing it on the table to finish in a moment or two. "Did I hear Chris come in earlier? Thought I heard the door shut."

"Yes you probably did. He's been early the past few days," Richard said, doing up the top button on his shirt and fixing his tie. He no longer had to dress as if he was going to see the King of England, but Thomas knew that it was in Richard's nature to appear presentable, and he had been living according to some pretty high standards for most of his life. Thomas didn't mind in the slightest. Richard looks good in a tie, afterall.

"You shouldn't ask him in this early though surely?" Thomas asked.

"Oh I didn't. He has been coming in early of his own accord," Richard said, crossing the room to stand in front of Thomas to sort out his tie as well. Thomas could do it himself obviously, but Richard liked to do it and Thomas, again, couldn't complain. "I think he likes to be kept busy."

Thomas never could tire of having Richard this close to him. He could easily become mesmerized by watching Richard's eyelashes flick up and down delicately as he finished doing Thomas's tie up for him. "Do you think he's okay?" he asked.

"How do you mean?" Richard asked.

"Well you said he likes to be kept busy. I had a phase of wanting that and it was only to keep myself distracted from my own thoughts," Thomas said.

"I always thought it was more because of it being in his character. But I suppose it can't be easy for him, being around us a lot of the time," Richard said.

"Because of me," Thomas said.

"You gave him a second chance Thomas, not something he would have got in many other places that's for sure. It was never going to be easy, but he knew that. You can't turn love off like a switch. I understand that now," Richard said.

"You and him are getting on okay then?" Thomas asked.

"Oh Thomas, don't worry. But your concern is touching and I love you for it," Richard said, giving him a kiss when he finished with Thomas's tie. "But yes we are, I think, more than either of us imagined. It is a breath of fresh air being able to work alongside someone whom I don't have to hide my true self from. He is also very good at his job, better than me I reckon. I suppose he would be considering he has technically been doing this job for longer than me." Thomas finished his mug of hot chocolate, cool enough to drink a bit quicker now. "I know you will have to be leaving soon, but could you come down to the shop before you go? Chris has been working on something that I think is a rather original idea," Richard said, sounding impressed.

"I could have a quick look, yes, though I'm eating breakfast at Downton today. I thought I should, I've been here most of the week," Thomas said as they went downstairs.

...

Despite the fact that he'd only been asleep for about five hours that last night (and the past few nights, if he was completely honest with himself), Chris didn't feel that tired. Perhaps it was because he had been busy since he got to the shop at six in the morning. He had gone to sleep late and found himself awake in the early hours, and he didn't see the point of just lying there unable to sleep so he left at around half past five in the morning and walked slowly (he didn't go anywhere that quickly anymore because of his leg) into Downton. He had just started renting a little place outside Downton that was owned by a woman who lived there alone with her three cats. Her husband passed a few years ago and her son never came back from the war so Chris felt she liked having someone living nearby. It also suited him as it was out of the way. He didn't mind arriving at the shop really early as he liked to feel useful and ever since he started working for Richard Ellis, he had felt more of a purpose in his life. His experience in prison had left its mark on him, in both a literal and a metaphorical sense. He would be very happy to forget those three years, the sounds and smells that he could still experience even now, especially when he was left alone with his thoughts. One thing that he hated though, that might surprise those who had never experienced prison, was the feeling of uselessness that he had. He was technically alive during those years but he didn't feel like he was living. He was just wasting time and he hated that. And in the year before he saw Thomas again, he was only surviving. He would forever be in Thomas and Richard’s debt for giving him a purpose again. It was hard watching him and Richard together; having Thomas as a friend was great as he had no friends at all before really, but it was hard because he wanted Thomas to be more. That was a fact he would just have to get used too. It was a tricky fact as he wanted Thomas to be with himself, but he couldn't because he also wanted Thomas to have every happiness and he could see that Richard had given him that. He shook his head, as if that would dismiss these thoughts, and tried to focus on what he had to do this morning. He had to sort out the latest installment of the repayment on the loan that Richard had taken out on this place, but there was no point doing that until the bank in Thirsk opened later in the morning. He was glad to see yesterday that the figures have been adding up sufficiently, to allow him to be on track with any repayments. As for now, he was searching through a few large boxes of books that came in yesterday. For his little creation he is working on, he needs books of varying sizes and colours and was picking out suitable books to use, when the door behind the counter opened and Thomas came into the shop, followed by Richard. "Morning Thomas, Richard" he said. "You heading off to Downton now?"

"Hello Chris," Thomas said, looking around at the piles of books on the floor, that seemed to be organised by size. "In a minute or two yes, but Richard said you're working on something?"

"Shame you can't ask Lord Grantham to serve his own breakfast. I'm sure he could manage it on his own," Chris said, with his characteristic grin.

"He could but then I'd be out of a job," Thomas said.

"Suppose you are right," Chris said. "Anyway, I had an idea for a couple of window displays a few days ago. Christmas trees." He could see that Thomas hadn't caught on to what he was getting at yet. "Well you see, any old fool can put a couple of trees and some holly in their shop windows to keep customers in the Christmas mood so to speak, but I thought I'd try something different." He led the two men around the corner of a shelf so that they could then see the structure being built in front of one of the windows.

"A christmas tree sculpted out of books?" Thomas said. Larger books were placed at the bottom in a circular pattern, each book layered to look like a branch of a tree. As the feature increased in height, the books became smaller and so it started to resemble a tree like cone shape. Each book had a different shade or coloured book next to it or above it, and mainly in shades of red, green or brown to add to the festive mood of the feature.

"Precisely," Chris said, sounding pleased with himself. "Well two of them eventually, for symmetry. It's not exactly on the same page as the windows of Selfridges but it fits well with the shop and I think it works."

"I love the idea," Richard said. "When do you think it will be finished?"

"Next few days hopefully," Chris said. "What do you think Thomas?"

"I think that it's a great idea, and well it would make my staff's lives easier, post-Christmas, if the Crawleys could have one of these instead of an actual tree. A lot less messy," Thomas said, seeing Chris's smile as he gave his approval. "One problem though. What if a customer wants a book at the bottom of the tree?"

"Well they will have to make do with those from the very top for now," Chris said. "No one is messing with my sculpture!"

"That will give them a choice of  _ A history of pig farming,  _ or  _ Fifteen ways of cooking pine nuts,"  _ Richard said, looking amused as he picked up the two top books from the book-tree.

"Well I'm sure someone will read them," Thomas said. "I should be off. I'll be back early this evening as I'm off to Thirsk this afternoon."

"Wish I knew why you were going," Richard said.

"Hmm I bet you do!" Thomas said with a wink as he put on his hat and walked out of the shop door.

"Christmas presents I bet Richard," Chris said, folding his arms. "It's usually the reason people are so weirdly secretive this time of the year.”


	2. 2

Thomas was glad that he didn't forget his torch this time walking up in the morning. The sun didn't rise for another hour and a half yet and since it was cloudy, there wasn't even the light from the moon so it was almost totally dark walking along the lanes and paths to Downton. It didn't bother him that much. Darkness created a shelter from the world when he didn't want to be seen and it was just how things were this time of year, the shortest day or longest night, fast approaching. He switched his torch off before as he walked through the gate into the backyard at Downton, stuffing it into his coat pocket. But before his eyes could adjust to the darkness, a figure ran into him as he turned a corner, making him jump at the unexpectedness of the incident.

The light from the lamp outside the backdoor revealed the strangers identity. "Stephen? What are you doing?" Thomas asked.

The light was dim, and Thomas couldn't see his face that well, but he could tell that he was embarrassed. "Sorry Mr Barrow, didn't see you there."

"Clearly not, you should watch where you're going," Thomas said, feeling a bit irritated at being startled like that. "Though you shouldn't be out here at all really. Anything you want to tell me?"

"No. Um, sorry Mr Barrow. I was um..." Stephen paused, obviously trying to think of an explanation he could tell the butler. "There was a mouse you see. I was getting rid of it," he explained, not meeting Thomas's gaze as he spoke.

"At this time in the morning? Outside?" Thomas said.

"Um, yes. It was near the door you see," Stephen said, still not looking Thomas in the eye.

Thomas could tell by the way that Stephen kept looking towards the back door, that he really was hoping that he wouldn't be interrogated anymore. Thomas didn't believe his rather badly crafted excuse for a second. Stephen was outside for a reason that he didn't want anyone to know about. Staff weren't supposed to be out at this time in the morning or late at night without a good reason and he should have taken it further, but as he didn't know why Stephen was outside then he couldn't accuse him of anything. Thomas had snuck out many times when he was a footman, but he was more careful about it. He decided to leave the matter, at least for now. "I see. Well you should get inside and dress properly, before anyone else notices your absence," Thomas said.

"Yes. Thank you Mr Barrow," he said, wasting no time in getting inside. Thomas let him go ahead. He hoped that Stephen wasn't doing anything stupid. He had his suspicions, but would keep those to himself.

...

Later on that morning, Thomas was overseeing the family's breakfast upstairs. Traditionally, married women were allowed to have breakfast in their rooms, but more often than not Lady Mary and, sometimes Lady Grantham, would eat breakfast at the table now. It didn't bother Thomas one bit where they chose to eat breakfast in the morning, as he didn't see it as either his problem or any of his business, though he would reckon that Mr Carson would be disturbed by yet another tradition being thrown out the window, so to speak. The only thing that crossed his mind was it would be nice for himself to be able to eat breakfast at a more humane time in the morning, such as when the sun had actually risen. He supposed though he shouldn't complain. Not when Richard would be happy to cook him breakfast every morning he ate at home. Thomas had tuned himself out of the conversations going on at the table, though not completely so he would hear anything that would involve him. It was skill that he had perfected over many years, along with keeping an expressionless face whilst he stood there, even though there were many thoughts that were going on in his mind that would normally require an expression of some sort.

Unfortunately Stephen, who had been a footman for only a few months at Downton, had not mastered such skills and was gazing ahead of him out of the window. He had an expression on his face that Thomas would describe as a mixture of dreamy delight, and concern. This was no doubt linked to the incident outside this morning. He would have had a word with Stephen about professionalism whilst serving upstairs, but Stephen's day dreaming state of mind caught him out before Thomas had the chance to intervene. Lord Grantham had indicated that he wanted his coffee refilling. Indicated, not asked, as another skill that servants must accomplish is the ability to read the mind's of their superiors.  _ 'It would make things a lot easier if Lord Grantham could just ask, but that's not how things are typically done. No idea why', _ Thomas thought, before giving Stephen a very poignant glare which seemed to wake Stephen from his dream. "Sorry M'Lord," Thomas said. "Stephen did not sleep well last night so is not himself."

"That's quite alright Barrow," Lord Grantham said. "You should tell Stephen to lay off the cheese before bed. Eating too much of that always gives me a restless night.”

It was meant as a joke, but Thomas had a hard time resisting rolling his eyes. ' _ As if a footman on his wages would be able to afford to snack on large amounts of cheese before bed! They really have no idea do they?' _ Thomas thought. "Yes, M'Lord," he replied. He then heard Lady Grantham say something about how he shouldn't be eating such things anyway at his age as it was not good for his health, but Thomas was more occupied by thinking that he should try to get to the bottom of what is going on with Stephen, though he hates the idea of causing the lad to worry. Like he thought earlier, he has a rough idea of why he was out this morning and why he has been so distracted lately. The thing is, he has to be completely sure before he intervenes.

...

Thomas was relieved to get away that afternoon. It was his half day off and he was heading straight off to Thirsk to buy Richard his Christmas present for this year. He had been thinking long and hard about what to give him and he wanted to give him something special as this was to be their first Christmas spent together. He came up with an idea a few days ago, and was hoping that Richard wouldn't think it was too much. Getting something special like this though obviously was going to cost him. It was going to cost him a lot. Cost him an arm and a leg, as they say. He would not be spending much for several months after this, that was certain. It would have been worse though, if he wasn't able to call in one of the few favours that he was owed.. He would not eat for months if that wasn't the case. Richard seemed to have an endless list of contacts, and favours he could call on, which was probably a benefit of living in London and not a small village. Thomas though, only had a handful, though he was lucky in this case, that one such person, worked in a jewelers shop in Thirsk.

He found his way from the bus stop to the shop easily enough, even though it had been many years. Thirsk was much bigger than Downton village, but still not large enough to get lost in. He was glad to find he was the only customer in the shop when he arrived. "Thomas Barrow! It's been a while hasn't it?" A tall man with a smartly cut beard and neatly arranged dark brown hair, said from behind the counter.

"Hello Michael, you got my message then?" Thomas said. He had sent a note to Michael a few days ago when he came up with his idea of what to get Richard.

"Straight to business I see? Yes, I did. The one I put aside for you, has a unique price, as promised," Michael said. "Unique, but still not cheap."

"Oh I didn't expect it to be. But I appreciate the help," Thomas said.

"Anything for you. Consider it repayment for making my time in bloody France a bit more bearable," Michael said.

"We had to do what we had to do, didn't we?" Thomas said.

"Aye, we did. But how was I supposed to resist you when I saw you on parade in your uniform?" Michael said with a knowing smile.

"We were all in uniform so I don't think that had much to do with it," Thomas said.

"Perhaps, but you always outshined the rest Thomas. You still do," Michael said.

"Michael, careful! We might be overheard," Thomas said, lowing his voice.

"Oh relax! We're alone here. The boss has gone out. Gone to see a supplier apparently, though since that is the third time this week he has been out, I reckon he's gone to see his mistress. And his wife is out in York shopping, so like I said, we're fine," Michael said. "I suppose considering you have asked me for such a gift, that you wouldn't be available to relive some of the better memories from those times tonight, right?"

"I'm afraid not, no," Thomas said, as Michael handed over the box and Thomas looked inside. ‘ _ He will love this. It's perfect,’ _ Thomas thought as he smiled.

"Shame. Though whoever he is, he's a lucky bloke to have found you, and to have your affection" Michael said, as Thomas handed over the money that they had agreed on earlier.

"Thank you Michael. I am grateful," Thomas said.

"No problem. Until next time then?" Michael said.

Thomas smiled, glad to be reminded of one the few good things that happened in those years in France. "Until then. Take care of yourself Michael.”


	3. 3

Thomas got back into Downton village in the late afternoon. It was about five in the afternoon and shops and businesses were shutting for the night. He was eating tea at home with Richard tonight but he had to go up to Downton first so wouldn't be back home just quite yet. He was thinking about where he should hide his gift for Richard until Christmas Day. He knew Richard would be curious about why he went to Thirsk and also, if he guessed the reason why he went, what he would be receiving from him. Thomas didn't think hiding his present in their flat or the shop would be a good idea as Richard would probably find it. He thought about hiding it in the sock draw in the bedroom but then realised that would be useless as it was not his sock draw but  _ their  _ sock draw. He came to the conclusion that the best place for it at the moment would be at Downton Abbey. Thomas had a few places where he would hide things that he'd rather other people not come across, back in the day, such as his letters from Richard, and since his old room was still out of use, he decided to hide it in there. He was happy to find the floorboard underneath one of the bed posts was still loose, and so put the gift in there. He hoped that no one would decide that the next few days would be a good time to clean that room, though since they were all up to there eyes with Christmas preparations, that was unlikely.

...

Later on, several hours after the sun had said it's farwells for the night, and the moon had taken over, Thomas was very happily finishing off a piece of apple pie that he and Richard had shared for dessert. They were sitting upstairs in the living room, feeling happily uncivilised eating on the sofa instead of at the table downstairs in the kitchen. Richard had made lamb stew, which they had eaten out of bowls, like you would with soup, instead of eating off plates. Well it was lamb stew with a few pork sausages, as Richard had found that they were low on ingredients, but it tasted good all the same so it didn't really matter. The apple pie came from the village bakery as a treat. There was enough left over for tomorrow too. A warming meal was exactly what they both needed as it was still very cold outside. Richard had said that he reckoned it might snow, but a cloudless sky indicated no such weather, for now. After eating, they had pulled a warm blanket over the two of them, and Thomas was enjoying the feel of Richard's fingers in his hair, as he absentmindedly rubbed Richard's thumb in the hand he was holding. They had been sitting in comfortable silence and Thomas thought that he might just feel himself nodding off when Richard broke the silence. "I never would have imagined this one year ago today," he said, his hand moving away from the top of Thomas's head and down over his shoulder pulling the blanket closer over them both, whilst keeping his arm around him.

"Me neither," Thomas said quietly, with his eyes shut.

"I was at Sandringham this time last year I reckon. And at this time in the evening, probably dressing the king. He usually liked to have an early night when he was able," Richard said. "I was fine with that as I was hoping for an opportunity to call you."

"Not sure if it was exactly a year ago, but there was one day last year before Christmas that I remember," Thomas said. "I was confronted by a rather upset Master George who wanted to know why he couldn't stay up a bit later to hang some decorations he had made that evening on the tree. It was not up to me of course, but since he had escaped nanny yet again, I decided to help him hang them on one of the taller branches. If anyone noticed me helping Master George to break the rules then they didn't say anything."

"Sounds like you have good memories of last year then? I love how the children adore you," Richard said, planting a kiss on Thomas's head.

"There were more good moments I'll admit, but I was missing being with you. It didn't feel right that we should have been apart at Christmas," Thomas said. He shuffled in Richard's embrace, partly because his leg was going to sleep, and also so he could face him.

"What is it?" Richard said as Thomas looked at him. "You're thinking."

"Am I?"

"Yes, you're making that face," Richard said.

"Hmm, well you read me well. I did have an idea earlier but I don't want to tell you just yet in case it doesn't work out," Thomas said.

"Well consider me intrigued," Richard said.

"Well it's about our tree. I was wondering about getting some help to decorate it. I'm sure we could, but I can't remember when I last decorated a Christmas tree and I happen to know some people who have a lot of recent experience of this sort of thing," Thomas said.

"Am I not allowed to guess?" Richard asked.

"No you are not. I don't want to disappoint you if it is not possible," Thomas said.

"Well I think I know, but I'll say nothing if you wish," Richard said. Thomas kissed him in thanks.

"It used to be my job to decorate the tree when I was a boy," Richard said. "I would make paper chains to go around the tree, and go out after school to collect pine cones, holly and such. My parents would let me stay up late to finish it."

"I can imagine a very brightly coloured, but stylish looking tree in your parents living room," Thomas said.

Richard laughed. "Brightly coloured, yes. Stylish, perhaps not so much, but it always looked good to me," Richard said. He was wondering about if he should ask Thomas about if he did anything similar when he was younger, but Thomas hardly ever talked about his childhood. "Izzie would come over sometimes and help me too. And I would go over to her place and work on her family's tree with her. Though that stopped when her parents became reluctant to having us spend too much time together when we got older and it was established that we were just friends and not into each other romantically. They thought I was a bad influence on her."

"She's the best influence on you Richard," Thomas said.

"Yes I know. When she moved to London, and she got her own place, we kept up the tradition. I'd come over and we'd work on the Christmas tree. She only had a couple of rooms to call her own then, so the tree was small but it was traditional," Richard said. "Maybe a bit childish, but we didn't care."

"I don't remember decorating a tree inside our house," Thomas said. "My parents thought it was a frivolous idea to have a tree all dressed up in the house." Richard hated that when Thomas spoke about his parents or childhood that the words would come out a bit strained, as if it was a great effort to say them. "My friend David and I did one year decide to decorate a tree. It was not a Christmas tree, just a smallish tree that was in the woods near where we lived. We found foliage and berries and anything that looked nice and put it on there." Richard noticed Thomas's lips twitch with a small smile as he spoke, which was unusual. "Daivd and I always got on well. Always were best friends, seemed to get on well with each other but no one else. We were alike." Richard wasn't sure if he was supposed to read more into what Thomas was saying. "When we decorated the tree that year, he found a bird feather. It was small and red so we assumed it was from a Robin. He put it in my hair, and I went home feeling like one of those Indians you see in the movies. I felt happy until my father snatched it out of my hair and told me to stop dressing myself up like a girl." Richard saw a flicker of happiness as Thomas let Richard in on some of his memories, but he felt his whole body tense when he started to speak about his father.

"David sounded perfect. I'm glad you have those memories," Richard said. "But don't speak of your father if he makes you feel bad about yourself." Richard pulled Thomas closer, one arm securely around the small of his back under the blanket, their faces were close now. "You can't please everyone. You have become your own person. My perfect, handsome, strong and brave man." Richard kissed Thomas between each of these descriptions. Thomas wasn't gonna argue, even if he didn't completely agree with all of them. He wanted comfort and Richard was giving it.

...

Another hour passed and they now had finished a warming cup of tea. They probably should be thinking of going to bed but each of them were happy as they were. The mood had been lightened, since Thomas told those difficult memories, and now Richard's attention had shifted to what Thomas had been doing in Thirsk earlier in the day. "You have been very secretive about what you were doing in Thirsk today. Anything I should know about?" Richard teased.

"Nope," Thomas said simply, trying his best to make his face appear neutral.

"Should I be worried? Jealous?" Richard teased some more, stroking a bit of hair behind Thomas's ear with his thumb.

"Neither," Thomas said.

"Chris had an idea about why you were there," Richard said.

"Oh? What did he think?" Thomas asked, with mock confusion.

"Seemed to think you were shopping for Christmas presents. Would he be correct Mr Barrow?" Richard asked, leaning in a bit closer so that Thomas could feel his breath tickle the side of his face.

"Couldn't possibly say," Thomas said.

"Oh I think that must mean he was correct!" Richard said. Not many people could get beyond Thomas's many false expressions, but he could. Very easily. All it took was for him to catch Thomas's eye for a second and the corner of Thomas's mouth twitched, which was enough to give him an answer.

"Fine! I was. But what makes you think the present was for you?" Thomas said, letting his head lean into Richard's hand that was now gently massaging the back of his neck below his right ear.

"The very fact that you deny it is confirmation enough for me, Mr Barrow," Richard said. "Can I have a clue as to what it might be? I suppose it is hidden somewhere?"

"No course you can't. That's the point of a surprise and why I have hidden it somewhere you will never find it," Thomas said, rather enjoying how they were teasing each other in this odd little game. Richard sighed heavily, and Thomas chuckled. "Honestly Richard! You're like a child sometimes, how did your parents ever keep anything from you at this time of year?"

"With great difficulty, especially as I got older and could reach the cupboards that were out of bounds for me when I was smaller," Richard said. "Oh if only I could get inside your head Thomas!"

"You are always in every corner of it," Thomas said sweetly.

"Not the part that knows where this mysterious gift is though," Richard said. He shuffled to face Thomas, so that his knee was resting on Thomas's thigh. "Maybe I can guess and you will give the hiding place away without meaning too?"

"You won't manage that. I can keep a secret if it suits me," Thomas said, looking directly into Richard's eyes, and very subtly biting his lower lip.

"Hmm let me see," Richard thought. "I doubt it would be in this room. If it were you would have looked towards where it is hidden by now. I don't think it would be in the shop or downstairs since I would have seen you down there when you came home. The bedroom perhaps? No, too obvious. The spare bedroom maybe? But where abouts?" Thomas was still holding his gaze and Richard felt his heart do a little jump. Richard searched his face, but it was giving nothing away. This was proving to be rather tricky. Thomas was indeed an expert at keeping thoughts locked away in his mind. Thomas said nothing as Richard paused his guesses either. All he did was bite the edge of his lower lip slowly and rather deliberately. "Okay I have changed my mind. I don't believe it is even hidden in this building. Maybe you gave it to someone else for safekeeping? Chris perhaps? But no, he was here in the shop with me and I would have seen." Richard watched Thomas's face as a small little smirk of victory flashed across his features. "I will not give in Mr Barrow, I will find out. Right, um," Richard thought for a moment. "Well maybe it is a mixture of my two previous guesses. Not given to someone else to look after, but still kept in someone else's home. Maybe it is at Downton? A place like that must have thousands of perfect hiding places." Richard couldn't believe how good Thomas was at this. No, actually he could. This is a man who has had a lifetime of practice with hiding expressions. Again, Thomas didn't betray an answer, all he did was blink once. Richard could feel the temperature within him begin to rise. He was not sure how much longer they could go on like this. Richard suddenly had a thought and an idea. "Well I wouldn't know where else you would put whatever it is that you have got me, unless you still have it on you?"

This did get a response from Thomas, who straightened his back and in doing so, pushed himself up closer to Richard, so now their faces were only a few inches apart. "You mean, hiding it in plain sight?" Thomas asked. "A bit too obvious."

"Worth a look though don't you think?" Richard said, practically into Thomas's mouth.

"Be my guest," Thomas said, throwing the blanket that was still half covering the both of them, off.

"Well, maybe it is here," Richard said, his lips brushing the left side of Thomas's neck, his hand undoing a few more buttons on Thomas's shirt. Thomas had undone the first two himself when he came home earlier. "Hmm, seems not." Richard got off the sofa and moved behind Thomas, so that Thomas had his back to him. Richard untucked Thomas's shirt from the top of his trousers from behind him, and slid his hand up underneath Thomas's shirt. Thomas jumped a bit as Richard's colder hand slowly felt its way up Thomas's spine. Thomas moaned and leaned back into him. Richard leaned forward, his lips to Thomas's left ear, "Nothing here either." Richard pulled his hand out from under Thomas's shirt and slid off the chair and back to his original position so that he was facing Thomas again.

"Any other ideas?" Thomas asked.

Richard pushed himself across the sofa so that he was closer to Thomas, who pushed himself further along it still, so that now his lower back was being supported by one of the arms of the chair. "A few Thomas," Richard said as he reached a hand into one of Thomas's trouser pockets, feeling around slowly, his gaze fixed on Thomas's eyes. Thomas gasped, and his hips jumped in response. Richard chuckled, "Something there."

"Not what you are after though?" Thomas gasped.

"It might be," Richard teased again. He pulled his hand out of Thomas's pocket and reached for the belt buckle on Thomas's waistband. "Do you reckon I should make sure? Just in case."

"I think that would be wise, yes," Thomas said. He had won this game, but was perfectly happy with playing for many more hours yet...


	4. 4

Thomas blinked himself awake the following morning. It was still dark, the only light in the room coming from the street lamps outside. He reached for a small torch on the table next to him, shielding the light so that it would be enough to see the time on the clock next to him, but not too bright so that he wouldn't wake Richard. His search for the correct time confirmed that he had less than five minutes until he had to get up. He switched off the torch and rested his head back on the pillow, pulling up the duvet as it was freezing and he wasn't wearing any clothes. He could only pull it part of the way up his chest though as Richard had migrated off his own pillow and was lying on his side with his head on the mattress just below Thomas's shoulder, his right arm flopped lazily across Thomas's stomach. Thomas smiled with the memory of yesterday evening and this morning. Despite all Richard's many (and sometimes rather creative) ways of trying to persuade him to give up the hiding place of the present, he still has no idea where it is or what it might be. The alarm next to him clicked before ringing, and in order to preserve some of Richard's sleep, Thomas hurriedly felt around with his hand to silence it, not having time to switch on a light this time, meaning he almost knocked over a glass jar of vaseline that was sitting on the table. Richard though, was in a deep sleep as he only stirred a little, pushing himself up closer to Thomas's side, and mumbling something that Thomas thought sounded like 'not yet'.

...

A few hours later, Thomas found himself sitting at the head of the table in the servants hall at Downton, yawning for what felt like the hundredth time, as he tried to stay awake enough to not give any of his colleagues any reason to wonder if something is amiss. Daisy was busy giving a rather exaggerated account of how Andy had been out late last night looking for a couple of sheep that had gone missing. The way that she was telling it was making it sound a lot more of a big deal than it actually was, Thomas reckoned. His main concern was that he would not show himself up at upstairs breakfast soon, by falling asleep where he stood. He shouldn't be complaining, after all the reasons for his tiredness were, in the end, worth it. Which brought him to a second problem. How was he going to stop thinking about all the things he and Richard did last night? The things on the sofa, up against the wall, in bed before they fell asleep eventually at some early hour. It turned out thinking this very thought was not helping, as all that did was remind Thomas that he was a very lucky man.  _ Richard is a good lover,  _ Thomas thought as he picked the edge of his toast with one hand, the other hand propping up his head as his elbow rested on the table. Not the posture of a man who was in a position of authority.  _ Position- yes. The things that Richard could do with his tongue... _

"Mr Barrow? Are you quite alright? You look rather flushed, hope you're not coming down with something," Mrs Hughes asked.

Thomas jumped and blinked, as though he had forgotten that he was in a room with several other people, who were now all looking at him. "What? Oh um, yes I'm fine Mrs Hughes," he said, sitting up straighter.

"You've hardly eaten anything?" she pressed.

_ She is concerned isn't she?  _ "Nothing is the matter, I just got very little sleep last night," Thomas explained.  _ Not a lie is it? Not technically.  _ "I've got a lot on my mind that's all."  _ Again, technically not a lie.  _ "But nothing worrying I promise you."

That seemed to satisfy her, and thankfully the topic of conversation did not remain on 'Why is Thomas Barrow’s face the same colour as a beetroot?' and moved to more mundane things, that this time Thomas tried to pay more attention too in order to stop his mind going back to Richard.

...

Later that morning after finishing overseeing upstairs breakfast, that went a lot better than yesterday as Stephen didn't make the same mistake as yesterday when he fell into some sort of daydream. If anyone was going to daydream today it would be himself, Thomas thought, but luckily he kept those very welcoming thoughts hidden, for now at least. He was looking forward to sitting down though and drinking something nice and strong and warm. He didn't usually like black coffee but today it would do the trick perfectly. He also had to think about how he was going to put his plan about the decoration of their christmas tree in place, he was wondering if it would be a bit too much to ask. At that moment Master George came running downstairs and straight into him, making it two days in a row where he had almost been knocked over by another human being.  _ He seemed to be getting bigger each day, _ Thomas thought. "Oh sorry Mr Barrow," George said, with a cheeky grin covering his face.

"Good morning Master George, and where are you off too in such a hurry?" Thomas said.

"Hiding," George said. "And I got to put this on the tree," he said, holding up a decoration made of card that looked like a horse but of course was actually a reindeer.

"I hope you are not giving Nanny a hard time?" Thomas said, bending down to George's level which wasn't as low down as it used to be.

"No, I'll go back in a minute," George said.

"You're still busy decorating the tree then?" Thomas said. "Hasn't it got enough on it already?"

"Nope," George shook his head. "And Sybbie still has to put her ones up on there. Can you lift me up so I can put it on the higher ones?" George asked pointing to the branches that would be out of his reach.

"Very well, but you're going to be getting too old for this soon," Thomas said, lifting George up by the tree. "Oh and too heavy too," Thomas added, making George giggle.

"George, I hope you aren't taking advantage of Barrow's good nature," Lady Mary said, who had appeared by the door.

_ My good what?,  _ Thomas thought, as he was pretty sure she had never described him using those words before. "It's no bother m'lady. Master George just needed my help to put yet another decoration on the tree," Thomas said.

"I see. Well Nanny will be wondering where you have got too George. Perhaps you should go and find her. You wouldn't want her to worry," Lady Mary said, though not unkindly.

Thomas put George back down and stretched his arms a little. They had begun to ache a bit with George's weight. "Yes mama," George said, "Thank You Mr Barrow," he added, but his happy childlike smile was thanks enough in Thomas's eyes, before running out the room.

Thomas was about to bid Lady Mary good day and take his leave when she said, "The tree is positively brimming with decorations now don't you think Barrow? It will be a tricky thing to find a place for all the others the children have been making."

Thomas blinked. Any exchange between him and any member of the upstairs family usually had a purpose to it, and was very rarely conversational. "I agree m'lady. There may be more decoration than tree at this rate." Lady Mary didn't answer straight away, and was looking up at the tree next to them, so Thomas thought this may be time to take his leave. Suddenly though, it occurred to him that this might also be the moment to ask the favour he had been considering for the past day. "If I may," Thomas began. "There is another tree that is in need of decorating which the children could hang the rest of their decorations on."

"Oh, are you planning on having a tree downstairs?" Lady Mary asked.

"No m'lady," Thomas said. He hesitated, wondering if this was such a good idea after all. "We aren't but Mr Ellis and myself do have one. Put it in our living room yesterday morning and we haven't gotten round to decorating it yet. I was wondering if, with your permission, Master George and Miss Sybbie would like to decorate it? Though I should talk to Mr Branson in regards to Miss Sybbie first." When Lady Mary didn't answer him and just looked at him, Thomas thought he had just made a huge mistake by overstepping the line. "If you think that this will be inappropriate then I understand," Thomas added.

"Oh I don't think it is inappropriate at all Barrow. Both the children adore you, we know that. Forgive me for hesitating, I never expected you to ask such a thing. I do think it is a rather lovely idea, and if you are able to supervise both of them then it would give Nanny a bit of time to herself. I reckon, with all their excitement about Christmas, she is in need of a bit of a break."

"Thank you m'lady and I could watch them of course," Thomas said, feeling pleased and relieved. "Would you be able to spare me this afternoon for a few hours?"

"Yes. I think that could work well as long as they are back in time for their supper. I will arrange a car to take you all down to the village and have the driver pick you up after a couple of hours?"

"That would be good m'lady, thank you," Thomas said.

"And don't worry about speaking to Mr Branson, I will ask him, but I am sure he will have no objections either," she said.

"Very good m'lady," Thomas said.

"Lovely!" Lady Mary said, sounding rather pleased as though this was her idea. "Well I'll let you get on," she said, turning away. "Oh, one thing Barrow," she added, looking at him again with a knowing smile on her face. "Mr Ellis- does he know of your plans?"

"Um, no. I was hoping it would be a bit of a surprise m'lady," Thomas said.

"Oh I see," she said.

...

The clock on his desk read two in the afternoon when Chris Webster finished off the last of his sandwich that he got himself for lunch. The slice of Christmas cake and mug of coffee were still untouched though. He would have those a bit later. He slouched in his chair and stretched his arms, since he had been here for an hour now. Today had been quiet in the shop and Richard had gone out for a few hours running some errands or something, so he was enjoying a bit of quiet to himself in the makeshift office he and Richard had put together, figuring that the business side of the shop shouldn't be run from the kitchen table as it would have led to things going missing. There was a small room (more like a walk in cupboard really) off the kitchen around the back which was probably used by the previous owner as a stock room. Now it had a modest size table and chair in one corner near the door and a bit of room for extra stock at the other end. Cosy was one generous way of describing its size, but Chris didn't mind. He picked a chunk of cake off the end of the slice, it did taste good. Richard made it using his mother's recipe.  _ No wonder Thomas loves him,  _ Chris thought,  _ he is charming, very good looking and he can cook.  _ He told himself to shut up and stop feeling sorry for himself as he was not expecting to spend winter and Christmas so comfortably. Despite wanting too, he knew he shouldn't complain about his circumstances considering what they easily could have been. His peace was interrupted by the sound of a car pulling up outside the shop front, an expensive sounding one he thought. He would get up when he heard the shop door bell ring though, as he was comfortable where he was. However, it was the side door that opened so he assumed it was Richard returning. He was about to shout and ask Richard jokingly if he had sold the shop and bought himself a sports car (he knew that Richard would love a car like that), when he heard Thomas's voice followed quickly by the sound of two rather excited children. "Is it a big tree Mr Barrow?" Chris heard one of the children ask.

"Not as big as the tree at Downton, as that would not fit inside this little place, but big enough for you two to have a good time making it look festive," Thomas said. "You and Miss Sybbie go on upstairs . I'll join you in a moment. Unless you need my assistance with these boxes?"

"No that's okay Mr Barrow, you said that I'm getting bigger so I can manage, but Sybbie might need some help," the boy said.  _ That must be Master George, Lady Mary's son, _ Chris thought as he wondered why they were here.

"I am older than you George. I can manage," Sybbie said.  _ She sounds confident of herself,  _ Chris thought. He didn't know much about the family who live at Downton, he gained most that he knew from conversations between Thomas, Richard and himself, but remembered that Thomas said that she is the daughter of the youngest of the Crawley sisters who passed away shortly after the birth of Sybbie. Her father, Mr Branson, was the chauffeur once but has been part of the upstairs family for a while now.

"How about you take a box each then? I'll be up there in a moment or two," Thomas said.

"Okay Mr Barrow," they both said.

Chris heard Thomas walk into the kitchen and dump his coat down on the back of the chair, despite the fact that there was a hook for that near the door. The door to the little office was partly open so Chris called out, "I see you have kidnapped your employers children Thomas." Thomas upon hearing Chris, walked over to the door and opened it fully, he yawned before leaning against the doorframe. Chris looked at him, and wished he would stop looking so effortlessly wonderful.

"They are here with permission from their parents, don't worry," Thomas said, returning Chris's smile. "They have been making Christmas decorations practically non-stop so they no longer have a tree with room to put them on. I suggested that they decorate the one upstairs."

"And they just let you have their children to look after for the afternoon? Never knew that was in a butler's job description," Chris said.

"It's not but they have always seemed to like me for some reason, especially Master George, pretty sure at one point they were the only ones in the whole house who did," Thomas said. Chris wondered what Thomas meant by that, it was hard for him to imagine anyone not liking Thomas Barrow.

"Does Richard know about them coming here?" Chris asked.

"No, I was hoping he wouldn't be here when we arrived actually. I was hoping to surprise him," Thomas said. "Has he gone out?"

"Only around here, got a few errands to run apparently," Chris said. "Not sure if it will be a surprise or a shock."

Thomas smiled again. "Surprise hopefully. I am paying them in cake though, we agreed in the car, so I hope there is some of that left," Thomas said looking at the cake on the table that was now half eaten.

"Plenty left Thomas," Chris said.

"I should go up," Thomas said. "Could you do me a favour?"

"Anything for you," Chris said.

"Right, good," Thomas said. He wasn't blind, he knew Chris still loved him, and it made him feel guilty sometimes. "When Richard returns, can you tell him to come upstairs?"

"Very well, consider it done," Chris said.

...

About an hour later Chris was in the shop when he heard Richard return, shaking off some of the light rain that had started to fall from his coat before hanging it up by the side door. Chris wandered into the kitchen, hoping to take advantage of Richard boiling water for some tea or anything warm as it was freezing. "I honestly am tempted to put the oven on and leave the door open just to warm this room up," Richard said.

"Lovely idea," Chris said, "Bloody freezing."

Richard stopped as he noticed Thomas's coat on the back of the chair, "Is Thomas back early? Or has something happened?" Richard said looking at the time.

"Oh it's okay, he is just back for another hour or so, he has company," Chris said.

"Oh. Who?" Richard curiously asked.

"Go and see for yourself," Chris said, smiling but giving nothing away. "It's a surprise apparently, though that will be left up to your own interpretation." Richard put down the mug that he was about to put a tea bag into, curiosity overwhelming his need for a warming drink. "May I?" Chris asked, looking at the mug.

"Yes of course," Richard said before going upstairs.

...

Richard couldn't work out who would be visiting Thomas or why Chris had a grin on his face when he told him about Thomas's guests, he was only half way up the stairs to the living room when he heard a couple of children's voices. That he did not expect. He pushed open the door at the top of the stairs slowly, though it was already partly open, and was definitely surprised by what he saw. The Christmas tree he had bought home yesterday morning was in the process of being decorated in the most colourful way. He recognised the children of course, they had met before, years ago in the garden when he discovered Thomas playing hide and seek with them both. Sybbie was sitting on the floor fixing some more links into a paper chain that Richard guessed would join the colourful chain that was already wrapped around the bottom half of the tree. George was sitting on Thomas's shoulders and was using Thomas ,who was sat cross legged on the floor next to the tree in the corner, as a human step ladder. The whole scene was delightful and Richard was wondering about disappearing back downstairs as he didn't want to interrupt, but he knew Thomas would want him to interrupt as this was a surprise for him. "If I knew we were going to have company I would have returned earlier," Richard said as he entered the room, meeting Thomas's gaze and being pleased to see his face light up. "Nice to see you again Master George, Miss Sybbie. I should congratulate you on your skillful decorating of this thing. Mr Barrow did mention that he knew of some people who were experts in all things Christmas. I should have known it would be you."

"Hello Mr Ellis," Sybbie said politely. "Mr Barrow said you live here too. That's nice, I wouldn't want him to live alone."

"Glad you remember me from the last time we met," Richard said, sitting down in a chair, he really couldn't take his eyes off the scene around him.

"Of course we do! You're Mr Barrows friend and you work for the king," George noted, as Thomas set him down off his shoulders. If Thomas found George heavy to lift up still, then he wasn't complaining. In fact he looked in his element.

"He doesn't now George," Sybbie said. "He runs the book shop."

"So who dresses the king now?" George asked.

"I don't know exactly, I reckon they found a replacement," Richard said. "Unless he now dresses himself."

"Well he could do. He has two arms and legs doesn't he?" Sybbie said. Thomas thought of how similar she is in some ways to her parents.

"He can't do that himself though, he's the king!" George said. The two children now seemed to be involved in an important debate surrounding whether the king of England needs a valet, or indeed two. Richard took the opportunity to sit next to Thomas on the floor.

"It's a lovely surprise Thomas, thank you," Richard said into Thomas's ear. Perhaps it was a gesture that was a bit too forward, but he didn't feel worried about the two visitors they had. "You look a bit tired though, come home for tea tonight and we will go to bed early."

Thomas's heart warmed with Richard's words and his breath on his ear as he spoke them to him. "I will do that. I'm glad you like it, not too much of a shock?"

"No it's brilliant," Richard replied. Speaking to George and Sybbie he said, "I hope Mr Barrow is paying you for your work, it would only be fair."

"We agreed on cake Mr Ellis," Sybbie said.

"Seems like a fair price, I'll make sure you receive a good share," Richard said.

"Though don't tell Nanny, she will tell me off if you don't eat your supper tonight," Thomas said.

"It will be our secret Mr Barrow," George said.


	5. 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is one of my favourite chapters I've written. The beginning makes me laugh each time I read it

Two days later on the 22nd of December and Thomas was busying himself with duties that were technically beneath him. Some stuck up Lord of something or rather had stayed overnight without any warning and had insisted on a valet, he hadn't brought his own and so it had been left to Thomas to look after him for the duration of his stay. The man couldn't quite understand that Thomas was actually the butler and not a valet. He kept on saying that he found it strange how Downton had no butler and Thomas had grown bored of trying to correct him whilst being polite at the same time. Thomas came to the conclusion that the man was a complete idiot who had spent so much time letting his wealth and status go to his head that he had forgotten how to remember the most basic of facts. He would be leaving in a few hours thankfully, but until then Thomas was stuck cleaning and polishing the man's shoes in the boot room. He hadn't done this sort of work for years and if he was perfectly honest he did not miss it one bit. He was now in an irritable mood and just couldn't be bothered with any of this. He just wanted to go home and curl up on the sofa next to Richard. "This all a bit beneath you isn't it Thomas?" Thomas looked up at the sound of the welcomely familiar voice.

"Richard, what are you doing here? It's only just gone past lunchtime. Is anything wrong?" Thomas immediately felt himself feel better.

"Nothing wrong, I wanted to see you that's all. Left Chris in charge for an hour, but can't be long as he can't leave to grab himself some lunch until I get back," Richard said, leaning himself up against the edge of the big table that took up most of the small room, arms folded across his chest, his classic 'Richard Ellis style' grin looking down at Thomas who was sitting down.

"Am I really so irresistible that you can't go a few more hours without seeing me?" Thomas said back, a bit surprised at his own forwardness.

"Fishing for compliments Mr Barrow?" Richard said playfully. "You are addictive and I can't get enough of you. How's that?"

"Makes me feel a lot better thank you," Thomas said. "Been stuck in here for what feels like an unfair amount of time."

"Doesn't Mr Bates usually do these?" Richard asked, looking at the shoes on the table.

"He does but these don't belong to Lord Grantham. No, the visitor they had yesterday decided to stay the night and demanded a valet. Since I'm the only one qualified enough, it fell to me. Never got a chance to tell you last night," Thomas said.

"No you fell asleep before I even had the chance to wish you goodnight," Richard recalled.

"Anyway, he's leaving in a few hours so I can be rid of him. Unless he feels like he wants to change his mind once more. Honestly Richard he's such an entitled-"

"-Hey, leave it Thomas," Richard said, interrupting Thomas's rant and placing a hand on Thomas's shoulder. "I get it, I’ve dealt with too many of those in my life I can assure you.

"Thank you," Thomas said smiling up at him.

"I did come here to ask you something actually," Richard said.

"I knew it," Thomas said.

"Read me like a book Mr Barrow," Richard said. "I wanted to ask if you can make sure you are back home as soon as possible tonight. In other words, come home for tea and don't eat here please?"

"Richard, I would love too but I have been away from here too much in the evenings."

"What if I told you that it's part of a surprise?" Richard said.

"I'd still love too but if I don't spend time here in the evenings with the rest of the staff then they will forget that I am in charge!" Thomas said.

"Oh I don't think we will be able to forget that very easily Thomas," Mr Bates said walking into the room whilst holding a pair of riding boots. "Good afternoon Mr Ellis."

"That's Mr Barrow to you," Thomas said. Richard nodded in greeting to Mr Bates.

"Whatever you say," Mr Bates replied. His relationship with Thomas was a complicated one, they once hated each other but now they seemed to have found some common ground and were able to work well together without too many issues. "Don't worry about having trouble persuading him to do something, Mr Ellis. Thomas can be as stubborn as a mule sometimes, even when things are in his best interests."

"I won't be likened to a horse Mr Bates," Thomas said.

"Actually a mule is a mixture of donkey and horse, but I suppose that's just a technicality," Mr Bates said.

"I couldn't care less Mr Bates," Thomas said with an eye roll.

"Neither do I really," Mr Bates said.

"Then why say it?" Thomas asked.

"Just had to correct you that's all," Mr Bates said. Richard was observing this odd conversation between colleagues with amusement. "All I will say is that if anyone can persuade Thomas to do anything, it is Miss Baxter. He will listen to her," Mr Bates said to Richard.

"Look there is no need for that, I'll be back earlier Richard alright. I promise" Thomas said, the situation was a bit odd now, he was feeling frustrated but amused at the same time.

"Lovely! Perfect, well I'll see you later but not too late Mr Barrow," Richard said. Mr Bates saw the wink that Richard gave Thomas that Thomas tried to pretend not to see. "I should be getting back. Thanks for your help Mr Bates," he said with a smirk before leaving.

...

"Sorry that took so long Mr Webster," Richard said as he walked into the shop at around two that afternoon. They agreed between them months ago that when the shop was open and they were working that they should address each other by their surnames.

"Don't worry about it, Mr Moesely popped in when you were up at Downton. He was looking for a gift for a friend of his apparently," Chris said.

Richard reckoned he knew who that would be for. "Did he find something suitable?" Richard asked, picking up a box of books that were labelled as returns that was sitting on the counter top.

"He did, and he picked up a few for himself to keep him busy through the Christmas holidays," Chris said.

"Good. You should take a break now, I'll sort these out," Richard said referring to the box of returns.

"Thank you Mr Ellis. I'll be back in half an hour," Chris said, opening the door between the shop and the kitchen and office behind.

"Make it an hour, only fair after I kept you waiting," Richard said. "Oh actually, Chris can you wait a minute?" Richard put the box down again and pulled an envelope out of a draw in their little office/store room. "I was going to give this to you after closing tonight but since we will have a visitor arriving then, I may forget." Richard handed Chris an envelope.

"Wages? Bit heavier than usual," Chris said, taking the envelope.

"Well consider it a Christmas bonus or a Christmas present, whatever you like to make of it Chris," Richard said.

"I'll take it as both Richard, thank you," Chris said looking touched.

"We have done well these past few months and I think a lot of that is down to you. Honestly, you run this place better than I ever could, and since we have had a good few months of sales then it only seems fair that you should benefit more from that," Richard said.

"Sales are always higher around December Richard, always was the case in the place I worked at before," Chris said.

"Take the compliment Chris. I don't give them out for free you know," Richard joked.

"Very well. The success of this place is mainly down to me, how's that?" Chris said.

"Better, now go, but don't spend that in the pub. It deserves better than that," Richard said.

"Noted Richard," Chris said cheerfully before leaving. Chris's company had rather grown on Richard since they put the issues with Thomas back in the Autumn behind them and started working together. He liked having him around, though he may only be able to admit that to himself and not out loud to anyone else just yet.

...

Chris sat at the bar in the Grantham Arms, his second pint sitting on the counter in front of him. It was quiet as it was only the mid afternoon, it was just him, the bartender and an older man with a large grey beard sitting in the corner of the pub, his head in a newspaper. He was there most days, always in the same spot reading the paper, like he was a permanent feature of the pub. Chris had not ignored Richard's words, the money he had just spent on his drink was not from the bonus/gift that Richard had given him. The envelope was still unopened in the pocket inside his jacket. He could do with it what he liked of course, but he agreed that it deserved better than to be wasted away on beer. He couldn't be here too long though. It would give a pretty poor impression to everyone if he returned from lunch to the shop half drunk. He didn't get totally drunk these days as he preferred to have his wits intact. His friendship with Richard was a strange one. Strange because it was so unexpected as when they first crossed paths, he was pretty sure that Richard hated him. But despite the fact that he still had feelings for Thomas and that it was hard seeing them together, Chris valued the fact that for the first time, he had a life amongst people who he didn't have to pretend to be someone he wasn't while he was around them. Perhaps Richard felt the same way, maybe that is why they were making this situation work so well for the both of them. Chris's thoughts were interrupted by the door to the pub opening and a gust of wind momentarily cooling the cosy atmosphere of his surroundings. It had started to rain earlier just as he arrived and clearly by now, it had blown up into a bit of a storm. A man walked in wearing a long coat that was dripping wet on the floor leaving a bit of a trail behind him as he sat down heavily on a couple of seats down from Chris at the bar putting a suitcase down on the floor by his feet and then removing his hat which was also soaking wet.  _ Clearly not from around here then,  _ Chris thought as he observed the man. He seemed a bit out of breath, probably had been running to get out of the rain and was composing himself a bit before taking off his coat. After he had removed his coat, that had been hiding part of his face Chris could see the man more clearly. He was young. Not really young, perhaps seven or eight years younger than him. He had a handsome face, one that probably had turned the heads of many women, maybe men too, in its time. His hair, despite being darkened from being out in the rain, had a golden shine to it. Chris watched as a raindrop fell from a stray strand of hair above the man's right eye, falling onto his cheek and tracing a path down to the side of his mouth. He really did cut a fine figure and Chris reckoned the man knew it, as he was busy trying to smooth out his damped hair in the reflection of the bar counter top, before even ordering a drink. Chris only realised he had been watching him a bit too closely for his own good when the man turned to face him.  _ Crap,  _ Chris thought, expecting to get asked what his problem was or told to mind his own business, but instead and to Chris's surprise the man just simply said, "I know I should have taken this off by the door, bloody soaking it is, and I only came from the station, not that far really."

"Reckon no one will notice, it's not as if you have walked into the Ritz," Chris said. "No offence mate," he added to the barman at the other end of the bar. Chris had been in here enough times now to be considered a 'regular' so he was glad he could get away with saying that.

"Suppose you're right," the man said signalling to the barman and sliding a few coins across the counter top.

"Are you here on business?" Chris asked.

"No, I'm visiting a couple of people I know," he said.

"Family?" Chris asked. "Sorry, I'm asking too much. Don't expect you to pour out your life story to a random bloke like me. It's none of my business really."

"No it's fine. Don't really have much in the way of family. I'm visiting a few friends, one invited me up here. You know, for Christmas."

"Sort of thing people do at Christmas isn't it?" Chris said, a bit sadly, almost to himself. He technically had a family, but they wouldn't know him or want to. Not any more.

"I guess family is who you make it to be. Doesn't have to be who you are related to."

"Hmm, suppose you may have a point. You're a wise fellow," Chris said.

The chap smiled, his smile made him look a lot younger, a wave of golden hair that had begun to dry fell over his eye which he pushed back into place. "No one has called me that many times before, I don't think. So, you live around here? If you don't mind me asking."

"Yeah, not been here for long. Was in York before I came here, work nearby. My boss gave me a long lunch break," Chris said.

"You don't work up at the Abbey then? Don't exactly let their staff go and drink in the pub during lunch," he said.

"No, not sure I'd fit in up there, or be keen on the longer hours," Chris said, draining his glass and glancing at the clock.

"Well I used to work in service and I wouldn't blame you for that," he said seeing Chris look at the time. "You've got to go?"

"Yes. Better be off," Chris said, getting up leaving some money on the counter for his drinks. "I hope you have a good time visiting your friends."

"Thank you, goodbye" the man said as Chris left. It was only when Chris was outside that he thought about how he never found out the chap's name.

...

"They smell good," Chris said to Richard who had just returned with several parcels of fish and chips that he was planning on keeping warm in the oven until his visitor arrived later on.

"Not very festive I know but I didn't want to cook tonight," Richard said.

"Oh don't think that matters. As long as food tastes good, is the occasion they are meant for really that important?" Chris said.

"Not sure my previous employers would agree, or Thomas's for that matter, but I do," Richard said.

"I'll lock up in ten minutes shall I?" Chris asked through the door to the kitchen.

"Yes that will be fine," Richard said. "Hopefully Thomas will be able to get away and back here soon."

"Your guest, is he the surprise for Thomas?" Chris asked.

"He is. He's a good friend of his, they used to work together, but he moved away and he only got back in contact with him earlier this year. I wrote to invite him a few days ago," Richard explained. "Just going upstairs to put on something warmer. If he arrives can you let him in and call me? His name is Jimmy Kent."

"Of course," Chris said.

...

A few minutes passed and Chris was just about to fetch the keys to lock up the shop for the night when the bell above the door rang. "We're closing in a few minutes," Chris said, from below the counter as he was looking for the keys.

"Oh I know, I'm here to see Richard Ellis," the man said. Chris recognised the voice as the same one he had spoken too only a few hours earlier in the Grantham Arms. "Oh hello again," he said as Chris stood up.

"Hello," Chris said surprised. "Small world isn't it? Your friends you are visiting are Richard and Thomas, am I right?"

"Yes they are. You know Thomas too? Well I suppose you do since he lives here."

"I do. You must be Jimmy Kent then?"

"Yes, that's me," Jimmy said, holding out his hand.

"Chris Webster," Chris said, shaking his hand. "I work for Richard."

"Jimmy, good to see you. I hope you didn't get too wet in that rain earlier," Richard said coming into the shop.

"It was as though I got dunked in a pond Richard, Mr Webster can vouch for that," Jimmy said.

"Oh? Have you met?" Richard asked as Chris locked the shop door.

"Briefly yes, though neither of us thought to introduce ourselves so we didn't know it, we got talking in the Grantham Arms earlier," Jimmy said.

"Funny thing coincidence," Chris said. "I'll be off though, I'll let you two catch up," Chris said.

"Chris, you could stay if you like? As long as you don't mind going out and buying another portion of chips?" Richard offered.

"I don't want to be in the way," Chris said.

"You won't be," Richard said. "Thomas won't mind you being there."

Thomas was the reason why Chris wanted to stay but also the reason he wanted to go. "You don't mind extra company Mr Kent?" he asked Jimmy.

"No of course not, though you should call me Jimmy. Calling me Mr Kent makes me feel old," Jimmy said.

"Then I shall, thank you, I will just fetch another portion of fish and chips then before they shut," Chris said. "You can call me Chris. Mr Webster just reminds me of my father."

...

Thomas was relieved to see that Downton's guest, who he had been tied to all of the previous day and most of today, finally left in the late afternoon. He had been a little concerned that since the weather had taken a turn for the worst that his Lordship may have decided to stay another night, which would have made getting home early impossible. Luckily though Thomas managed to escape a few hours after sunset and got back home at around seven, which was early for someone in his position. He shook the worst of the rain off his overcoat hoping it would be dry by the morning and took off his shoes before heading upstairs. He had two desires right now: slippers and Richard, in no particular order. He opened the door into the living room upstairs to see Richard sitting on 'his side' of the sofa. Chris was also there, which surprised him. Thomas from his position near the door, didn't see who was sitting in the chair that had its back to the window. "Got away then?" Richard said as Thomas leaned over the back of the sofa and kissed Richard on the lips who had turned to face him.

Thomas immediately regretted kissing Richard right in front of Chris as he knew how it made him feel, but when he looked over to Chris, the look on his face was not sadness but worry and Thomas wondered why. He then looked over to the chair near the window and jumped when he saw who was sitting there. "Jimmy!" Thomas said, going a bit red.

"Hello Thomas, sorry I should have said something so you'd know I was here, I'm kind of hidden by the door when it's open," Jimmy said. Chris still looked worried but also confused as to why there hadn't been more of a fuss made when Thomas had kissed Richard.

"It's okay Chris, Jimmy is a friend, and he knows all about Richard and I," Thomas said.

"Oh I see. You are okay with it?" Chris asked Jimmy.

"Yeah, I mean it's a long story, but I am now," Jimmy said looking at Thomas as though asking permission to explain further. Thomas nodded sitting down next to Richard and being happy to find his slippers right next to the chair. "Basically I worked at Downton several years back with Thomas. He kissed me and I reacted badly."

"Bit of an understatement, you almost got me arrested," Thomas said, though not unkindly.

"Yeah and it's my biggest regret of my life how I behaved towards you. But Thomas then saved me from being beaten to a pulp by a group of thugs whilst I was too drunk to walk properly and we became friends. I got fired for being an idiot, and then came back earlier this year to see Thomas, when I promised to make more of an effort to stay in touch." Jimmy looked at Chris and had a sudden thought, "You are okay with their type too though right?"

"You could say that," Chris said. He could have been completely honest and it wasn't like he didn't feel like he could trust Jimmy, but they had only just met.

"Oh good, for a moment there I wondered if I'd have to sell everything I own to buy your silence," Jimmy said and although it was a joke, Chris thought it was touching how he was willing to do so.

"Do you have anything of value Jimmy?" Thomas asked, playing along.

"Um not really. Well I do have a piano now, it was second hand but might fetch something," Jimmy said.

"You play?" Chris asked.

"Yeah, it's what I do now and ever since I left service. I play all over the place, wherever they will have me, although I have a few regular spots at some clubs in London," Jimmy said, looking pleased with himself.

"Chris can dance rather well," Thomas said.

"Not so much anymore. I was in some bad company for a few years, and got this as a result," Chris said looking at his leg.

"I bet you Chris, you can still dance better than most," Thomas said.

"That is kind of you to say Thomas, but if that was a real bet then I think you would lose money," Chris said.

Richard's stomach rumbled, "Sorry," he said. "Maybe that is our cue to get the food out the oven. Can you help me bring it all upstairs Thomas?"

"Sure," Thomas said, getting up and following Richard out of the room and downstairs, leaving Chris and Jimmy in the living room. It could have been a bit awkward sitting in a room with a person you had only met a few hours before and hardly knew, but Jimmy liked Chris. He wondered if he had more in common with Thomas and Richard than just being a colleague and a friend but he figured that it wasn't his place to pry on that subject. If Chris wanted to say anything then it would be up to him completely.

"If you don't mind me asking, what did you do that was so idiotic that it got you dismissed from Downton?" Chris asked. "I wouldn't have thought that Thomas would dismiss you lightly."

Jimmy felt embarrassed by the memory, he couldn't figure out why he ever did it. "Thomas didn't. This happened years before he became butler, it was Mr Carson then, though it was Lord Grantham who was responsible for firing me I guess," Jimmy said. He paused and ran a hand through his hair. "I was caught in bed with one of the guests, a Lady who I used to work for who happened to be visiting Downton."

"Caught by Lord Grantham?" Chris asked. That confession answered Chris's question to what Jimmy's preferences were.

"Yes, couldn't have been worse could it?" Jimmy said.

"No, but I would have liked to have known why he would be walking into her room?" Chris said.

"Oh he had a legitimate reason. There was a fire in one of the bedrooms and he was waking everyone to get us all out when he discovered us. Thomas would have warned me but he was busy rescuing Lady Edith from her burning bedroom."

"Downton doesn't seem to have a dull day," Chris joked. "Thomas saved the woman's life?"

"Yeah, walked straight in there and got her out and raised the alarm," Jimmy said, he was proud of Thomas's actions that night, he never thought they gave him enough gratitude for his bravery. Jimmy also saw the admiration on Chris's face also. Admiration and something more. "He was keeping a look out for me you see, that's why he was up there."

"He would have risked his job being up there doing that for you," Chris said. "I'm surprised he would have been that stupid."

"He had no choice really. He did it because he was in love with me," Jimmy said. "I knew that and I took advantage of his good nature towards me. He was always protecting me, standing up for me. Kind of like having a guardian angel." Chris thought about how his situation with Thomas was similar to Thomas's situation with Jimmy back then. He would do anything for Thomas, he knew that and Thomas didn't need to ask, and he didn't mind either. He wants to make him happy. Maybe that made him a fool. "Mind you, I'd prefer to be Thomas's friend than his enemy any day. He's not someone to get on the wrong side of," Jimmy continued.

"No, Richard said a similar thing to me once," Chris said.

"What did I say to you?" Richard said coming into the living room followed by Thomas.

"Mmm smells good," Jimmy said.

"Hope you don't mind it's not something more fitting for the time of year," Richard said to Jimmy.

"No, this will do nicely," Jimmy said, not wasting any time in eating a few chips.

"I was telling Jimmy that you told me about how it is best to be on Thomas's good side rather than against him," Chris said, answering Richard's earlier question.

"You think that?" Thomas said to Richard.

"Mmm, I do," Richard said between mouthfuls. "Well you have told me about how you were with people who crossed you."

"Well I hope I'm not like that now," Thomas said. "I've tried to change."

"And you have, but don't tell me that if they hired a tutor for Master George in a few years time who you didn't like that you wouldn't try to get rid of him, like you did with that nanny?" Jimmy said. "I think it's a good quality to be protective over people you care about and you are."

"Well I can't say, that would depend on what this tutor would be like," Thomas said. "But I suppose I wouldn't want someone bad influencing Master George."

"Exactly," Jimmy said.

"What happened with the nanny?" Richard asked.

"Have I never told you?" Thomas asked.

"You may have done, but I forget," Richard replied.

"There was a nanny called West I think," Jimmy said. "Thomas took a disliking to her."

"It was at first because of the way she spoke to me, I found her annoying and wanted her gone," Thomas said. "I told Lady Grantham that I suspected that she was no good. I didn't know for sure really, just wanted to get her into trouble. Turned out though that I was right, she had been mistreating Miss Sybbie, neglecting her, Lady Grantham caught her out and nanny West was dismissed."

"Then there was O'Brien," Jimmy said.

"Well she left of her own accord in the end," Thomas said.

"Who was she?" Chris asked.

"A witch that I once called a friend who decided to use what she knew about me against me. She persuaded Jimmy to press charges against me," Thomas said.

"And I was an idiot to fall for what she said," Jimmy said. "I still don't get why she changed her tune, it was very sudden."

"Something I had on her that would be worse than what she had on me," Thomas said.  _ Her Ladyship's soap- he was glad he thought of it, just wished he thought of it sooner as it was the perfect weapon. _

"What was that?" Richard asked.

"Something that will remain between me and her," Thomas said. "I need it that way. If that bitch ever came back then I could get rid of her again."

"So I think the message is clear then, don't mess with Thomas Barrow," Chris said, lightening the mood and causing Thomas to smile despite the memories that had been dug up.

...

"I like the Christmas tree," Jimmy said. "Never seen one so brightly decorated."

"We can't take the credit for that," Richard said. "The children from Downton decorated it."

"George and Sybbie were here?" Jimmy asked.

"Yes, Thomas arranged the whole thing. I can honestly say that it was the best surprise I have had in a long time," Richard said. Thomas gleamed and felt even happier when Richard took his hand.

"I never have known a household like Downton where the children love the staff like their own family," Jimmy said. Jimmy could easily imagine the scene. Thomas and Richard with a couple of children of their own. He knew it was impossible, and that was a great injustice as he reckoned that in another life they would have been wonderful parents.

"Are you having to travel back to London tomorrow Jimmy or can you stay another day?" Richard asked changing the subject.

"Tomorrow morning I'm afraid. I have a date with a band that I'm playing with tomorrow evening," Jimmy said. "But that is tomorrow, right now I can stay as long as you will have me."

"Well in that case I'd better fetch the whisky," Richard said. "Reckon I still have some good stuff hidden away somewhere..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am curious to know what people's opinions are on the knowledge Thomas had of 'Her ladyship's soap' and O'Brien. How do people reckon that he found out about this? Let me know if you have any thoughts cause it's been bugging me for years!


	6. 6

"So are you sure that I can't come with you?" Thomas asked Richard the following morning as Richard was in front of the bathroom mirror, shaving. Thomas stifled a yawn as he brushed his teeth, as you can't have a mouthful of toothpaste and yawn at the same time. The evening before with Jimmy and Chris had lasted well into the latter hours of the day and Thomas still had to get up early, he had the morning off on boxing day so was hoping to catch up on sleep then, or just take it easy. This morning though, Richard had announced his plan of going to York for the day to do a bit of Christmas shopping of his own and to see his parents. He didn't seem to want Thomas to come with him.

"I'm trying to keep this a surprise dear," Richard said. He splashed his face with water from the sink and dried it with a towel. He was not fully dressed yet and Thomas loved seeing him so casual, his hair still ruffled from sleep. "I can hardly go shopping for a gift for you if you are there with me can I?" Richard said, smiling at Thomas in the mirror.

"It worked okay when you got me that pocket watch from  _ Selfridges _ that time in London didn't it?" Thomas said.

"Yes but that was a different situation. I was trying to impress you," Richard said.

"And what about this time?" Thomas said as he pulled Richard closer, looping two arms around his waist.

Richard's eyes gleamed. "Well this time, I intend to surprise you, charm you and spoil you."

"Well aren't I lucky?" Thomas said as he kissed Richard, taking in the fresh scent of soap that he smelt on Richard's neck and face.

"You will be," Richard said. "It will be worth a short time apart trust me."

"Am I not allowed a clue?" Thomas asked.

"Absolutely not!" Richard laughed. "Not since I have still not got the slightest idea of what you have got me."

"Well I aim to surprise you too," Thomas said. "You have told Chris about today and that he will be on his own I hope?"

"I mentioned it last night as he left. I should have told you first I know," Richard said.

"It's fine. I didn't give you much of a chance to chat. I have been trying to catch up on sleep and failing," Thomas said. He was aware they should be getting a move on, but he was happy in this situation for now.

"You work too hard Thomas," Richard said.

"I'm in charge, I have too. I will have boxing day morning free so we can have a lie in," Thomas said.

...

Half an hour later Thomas was getting ready to leave. He was eating breakfast at Downton this morning to make up for his absence yesterday evening, and he didn't want to give Bates another excuse to tease him either. There was a definite chill in the air so Thomas decided on his warmer coat and gloves. "I don't need that," he said as Richard handed him a scarf.

"I'm considering wearing one inside Thomas so you need it out there," Richard insisted.

"Honestly you're like my mother," Thomas said with a smile.

"Only looking out for you," Richard said.

"I know, I'll take it," Thomas said, putting the scarf on. "When will you get back from York?"

"Probably late afternoon, I'll get a train back around five I think," Richard said.

"I'll see you later then," Thomas said, kissing Richard before walking out the door into the cold morning.

...

"Mrs Hughes I was wondering if you could keep an eye on things for a bit," Thomas said later that morning as he came downstairs. "I have left the keys to the safe in my other coat pocket which is still at home so I'll need to run down there and fetch them."

"No problem, don't be too long though," She said.  _ What she means, _ he thought,  _ is don't get distracted by certain book shop owners.  _ It might be a risk normally but not today.

"Don't worry, I won't be. You won't even know I'm gone," Thomas said.

...

Chris had not been surprised when Richard had asked if he could mind the shop for the whole of today. He was wondering when he'd be making a visit to York, since he was the only one out of the three of them who had a good relationship with their parents still. He did envy Richard over that, but he was glad for him too. Not many folks of their description were on speaking terms with their families. He came from a large family, having two older siblings and two younger. He wondered if they even knew if he was alive or not. He broke off with them before the war broke out, they never wrote and neither did he. Even if they did know he was still amongst the living, he reckoned they would have no idea about his arrest over four years ago. He didn't reckon any names would have been published in the papers as there were too many of them to list in a small article. He was glad of that. He didn't want them to know. Ever. Thankfully though these thoughts were interrupted by the shop door bell. He was sitting behind the counter signing off some invoices for orders for the new year that will need to be posted today if they are to get the new stock in time for next January. He looked up from his work and was surprised to see Thomas walk in. "Oh hello Mr Barrow," he said. "Didn't expect to see you around at this time. Thought you'd be kept busy at Downton?" It was best for them to address each other more formally when they weren't alone or amongst friends, it could endanger them both if someone thought they were being too familiar. It was stupid, as it would only be how any friends would talk to each other, but that was the way they lived. They could never be too careful.

Thomas came over to the counter at the back of the shop. "Good morning Mr Webster," Thomas said. "We are busy but I left my other set of keys in my other coat pocket. Had to come back for them or else the safe will remain locked and the staff will not get their wages until after Christmas.”

"I see. Important then," Chris said, letting Thomas around the side of the counter so he could get into the kitchen behind. "Would not make you popular I imagine if you didn't pay them before Christmas?"

"It would not no," Thomas said, Chris's heart warming a little as Thomas smiled at him. "Won't be long," he said as he disappeared into the kitchen.

The shop door opened again and a woman walked in, Chris didn't recognise her so he assumed she was not local to Downton. He had been living here long enough now to notice who was local and who was not. He and Richard had been advertising the shop in a few papers so had been getting other customers from further afield. "Got them," Thomas said emerging from the kitchen a few minutes later, shutting the door behind him. "Things around here going well today?"

"You mean am I managing things while the boss is away?" Chris said. Thomas was worried for a moment, concerned that he had offended Chris in some way. "It's okay Thomas, only meant that lightheartedly I promise you," he said, seeing the look of concern on Thomas's face. "Doing well yes, will be wrapping things up tomorrow and closing a bit early, considering it's Christmas eve."

"Good, would be lovely if I could suggest to the Crawleys that they go to bed early on Christmas eve so we could all do the same," Thomas joked.

"Wouldn't that be ideal," Chris agreed. The shop door opened again and two young men walked in. Chris recognised one of them as Stephen, the lad from Downton who was always coming in here to borrow books. "Good morning Stephen," Chris said. He recognised the other man but he didn't know his name.

"Good morning Mr Webster, Mr Barrow," Stephen said. Thomas smiled in greeting at Stephen and the other lad who he recognised as the butcher's son, Daniel. He had been up at Downton that morning to deliver the first half of the meat needed for the massive Christmas day meal that will be prepared mostly the day before.

"I should be getting back," Thomas said. "Told Mrs Hughes that I wouldn't be long."

"I should finish writing out these," Chris said, looking at the few sheets of paper and envelopes on the counter in front of him. "Also have to rearrange the book christmas trees a bit. It is a wonderful display but it can be a problem when customers keep buying the books on the tree. I have to keep adding to it."

"As I said before, I would like one of those for Downton in place of the real thing," Thomas said

"I'm sure if you emptied his lordship's library then you could get a decent sized display," Chris said in humour.

"Yes, although I pity the poor person who would have to put all the books back in the library afterwards," Thomas said, glancing at Stephen as the task would probably fall to him. Thomas looked back at Stephen and Daniel, they had been standing by the same book shelf for a few minutes now, the book in Stephen's hand had remained unread as it seemed he was too captivated by Daniel's company to be interested in reading it. He was now almost completely certain that his suspicions he had about Stephen for a while now, were correct. It would explain why he never wanted to report Richard and himself when he caught them kissing several months ago. It would also account for why he was out so early a few mornings ago; why he had been so distracted of late and why he had been so keen to take in the orders for the kitchen even though it was a job meant for a hallboy or the kitchen maid. Daniel had been making these deliveries more often too lately. Thomas realised how it all made sense. He didn't say anything of course, but he reckoned Chris had picked up on the pair of them too. He was content to leave things be until Chris noticed something that he did not at first. Chris grabbed a piece of paper from a drawer and wrote something down on it very quickly before urgently passing it to Thomas along the counter top, all whilst continuing to talk casually about Christmas trees and such.

Thomas read the note and felt his throat go dry. It read:  _ The woman to the right of us is watching those two like a hawk watches its prey.  _ For a quick note it was rather well crafted but it got the point across and now Thomas saw what Chris had noticed first. The woman who came in just before Stephen and Daniel, who had until now, being busy looking closely at several books, opening them and reading a little before choosing another, had now started glancing too frequently in the direction of the two young men who were unaware of her gaze and behaving in a way that was too familiar for only being friends. _ If he and Chris could see this easily, then it would be obvious to others too,  _ Thomas thought. Chris was still keeping up the appearance of someone who hasn't noticed a thing, and was explaining to Thomas, who was not really listening now, about how he needed more red books for the trees by the window. Thomas, meanwhile, was trying to figure out how to stop this from becoming dangerous. He wrote on the bottom of the note Chris gave him earlier:  _ Can you distract her? _

Chris nodded very slightly, and then slipped into his 'professional speaking to customer tone' and approached the woman. "Excuse me madam, can I be of any help?" he asked the woman who was distracted enough for Thomas to catch Stephen's eye and speak to him.

"Stephen, since you are here can I have a word with you please?" Thomas asked.

Unfortunately, Stephen didn't take the hint that this should be in private."Of course Mr Barrow," he said, but remained where he was standing.

Thomas had to think quickly. "I need to talk to you in private. I cannot discuss the running of Downton and the Crawleys personal lives in a public setting you understand?" Thomas said. Years of experience allowed the lie to slip easily from him, so much so that he was almost convinced himself it was true for a moment.

"No of course not Mr Barrow," Stephen said, leaving a slightly bewildered Daniel in the shop.

Thomas closed the door behind them, hoping Chris was able to use some of that charm that came so easily to him to distract that woman from what she saw. Stephen was looking a bit confused, "I'm only a footman Mr Barrow, I don't really have much to do with the running of Downton."

Thomas sighed, deciding to get straight to the point. "That was a lie so that I could speak to you alone," Thomas admitted. Now Stephen was no longer looking confused but worried. "You and Daniel. You were far too obvious out there."

"I, I don't know what you mean," Stephen stammered, going pale.

"I think you do," Thomas said seriously. Stephen seemed to have frozen to the spot, Thomas intended to get his point across of how dangerous this could have been for them both but felt compelled to reassure him first. "Stephen, you have nothing to fear from me. You of all people know that I will never betray you or Daniel in regards to this matter," he added, remembering how Stephen had seen him and Richard together.

Stephen sighed. It was not a sigh of relief though, more one of defeat, and he wouldn't look Thomas in the eye. "I didn't think we were doing anything wrong. We were only talking. This is all my fault, Daniel didn't even want to come in here, he's not much of a reader."

"In my eyes, you weren't," Thomas said. "But what I see doesn't matter, any accusation made could ruin you both. They don't need any proof, you are guilty in their eyes when they decide that you are." Saying those words made him think about how unfair the world is for men like him, not even such a thing as innocent until proven guilty. Not for them.

Stephen didn't say anything, he looked vulnerable, and a lot younger than his real age of nineteen. Thomas saw a part of himself reflected in Stephen right now. "Are you saying I can't see him anymore?" Stephen asked, looking at Thomas now.

Thomas looked away, trying to give himself some time to think of how to answer that.  _ I wish Richard was here. He'd be better at this than me, _ Thomas thought. "No, that's not what I'm saying," he began. "I am trying to warn you that you both need to be a lot more careful if you want to have a fighting chance of making this work. Life for people like us is hard. It's unfair, lonely and cruel. You are going to have to learn to accept that and do the best you can with it. You will have to learn to read people and their intentions. To know who can and cannot be trusted and even those who you think you can trust, you can never trust them completely. It will make you scared, but fear is an instinct of survival. You have to do whatever it takes, and you will hate yourself for it sometimes. You may just end up hating yourself." Thomas wasn't sure if he was speaking to Stephen or about himself now. It all seemed to be blurred into one. "You can't be meek. You have to be tougher, to learn how to take a punch and to punch back twice as hard, both literally and metaphorically."

"So I'm doomed then?" Stephen asked, his voice shook a bit while he spoke. Maybe with anger, maybe with fear. "It all seems too much to deal with, not having much hope."

"No," Thomas said. "There is hope. For a long time, I didn't think there was any, but things got better for me. I discovered that I had friends, and people who I could trust, those who accepted me without question. It did take me a while but I found them. I don't need the whole world to accept me, just a few and I think I have found that. One person can make it worth it all."

Stephen knew who Mr Barrow was talking about. "You made things work," Stephen said, lowering his volume. "You know, with Mr Ellis?"

In spite of the tense situation, Thomas couldn't help but smile a little. "Yeah we did. But it was never easy Stephen. But despite all I have said, you should know that you are not alone. There are a lot of us lot out there, if you know where to look. And we survive but we also live. Surround yourself with people you feel safe around, and you can protect each other then."

"But with so many people at Downton, people are bound to find out," Stephen said.

"They may do, but as far as the staff go, most of them in my experience, will not try to hurt you. And anyone who tries to cause you trouble will have to go through me first," Thomas said. "And as for the family, they are a lot more liberial than they will like to admit. But you should never tell them that, I don't think they could take the shock."

Stephen relaxed a little and smiled at that. "No I wouldn't dare. I'm sorry that I put you in this position."

"Better me than anyone else Stephen," Thomas said. "Were you intending on spending your half day with Daniel then?"

"Yes," Stephen said, blushing a bit.

"Well you can be yourselves more if you are away from other people. Take a walk through the outer parts of the estate, you shouldn't come across too many people there. If anyone asks what you are doing, say I sent you out there to gather some pine cones for christmas decorations. Just bring some back to make my lie convincing," Thomas said. Thomas opened the door to the shop slightly, checking if the woman in the shop had left. "You should be getting on then, you will need to be back at Downton by the evening," Thomas said, receiving a nod from Chris that the coast was clear.

"One thing though Mr Barrow," Stephen said before leaving. "Mr Webster must have seen too since he was in the shop the whole time."

"Don't worry about him. He has more reason than most to want to help our lot avoid a jail term," Thomas said.

Thankfully, Stephen didn't ask what Thomas meant. "I don't know how I can thank you," he said.

"Don't worry about it, just don't get caught out, that's all I ask," Thomas said.


	7. 7

Stephen left rather quickly with Daniel after that conversation, and Thomas reemerged into the shop. "You got rid of her then?" he asked Chris.

"Of course, it was rather easy to keep her distracted, especially when it turned out she was quite a chatty person. I had to endure her going on about how amazing her husband is, and his work he does as a conductor on the railways. She was here because she was looking for a book on the history of the rail line that Brunel built, it was a specific one apparently, and it could only be that one. It is a skill, believe me, pretending to be interested in what she was saying," Chris said, rolling his eyes at the last sentence. "She did begin to glance towards the back door where you were, but quickly forgot about all that when I told her the book she was after was half price," Chris said. "She left happily after that."

"Thank you, I couldn't have managed that situation without your quick thinking," Thomas said. "The book wasn't actually half price was it?"

Chris smiled at Thomas's compliment. "No, it was new in the other day so it wouldn't have been, but I'm sure Richard won't mind. I reckon he would have done the same."

"I think you are right," Thomas said. He put his hands flat on the counter top and hung his head, breathing out a heavy breath as if he had been holding his breath all this time. He suddenly felt rather weak.

"Thomas are you okay?" Chris asked, putting his hand on Thomas's shoulder and forgetting any formality they tried to keep whilst in the shop. "You look pale, I could get you some tea?"

Thomas straightened up, and Chris drew back his hand. "It was just too close, and I worry that I may have said a bit too much to Stephen. He was scared Chris, I don't know if I made it worse for him."

"I heard a bit of what you said after the woman left. You told him what he needed to hear Thomas, it might just keep him a bit safer as a result. You did the right thing, I wish I had someone to give me that advice when I was his age. I may have turned out to be less of an idiot if I had," Chris said. "Shall I get you some tea? Or something stronger?"

"Thank you. I wish I could have had that too, but you're not an idiot Chris, don't ever blame yourself for what happened to us. I don't," Thomas said. "In truth I would love a drink but I am already a lot later than I said I would be so I should be getting back." Thomas picked up the keys that he came for, that had been lying on the counter this entire time. "Destroy these though," he added, picking up the note that Chris had shown him earlier, before leaving.

...

The wind howled through the tops of the trees in the woods a couple of miles outside of Downton village, although down on the forest floor it was relatively calm. Stephen jumped and looked behind him as he heard the low groaning noise of an old tree bending in the wind. "You alright?" Daniel said, "That's the second time you've jumped since we've been in these woods. If you want, we could go somewhere else."

"No it's fine, just feel a bit on edge after that happened earlier in the book shop," Stephen said.

"Mr Barrow didn't want to talk about Downton business did he?" Daniel asked as they walked.

"No," Stephen said. It was pointless lying, he wasn't very good at it. "He was just warning me, well us, to be more careful. We didn't notice how that woman was watching us, and he did."

"I didn't notice either, but then again, what were we doing? Talking in a corner of a shop," Daniel said.

"Well you got that book down off that shelf for me, and you took a little while to let go of my hand as you gave it to me," Stephen said.

"I thought that was discrete," Daniel said.

"Apparently not," Stephen said, looking down.

"You're not angry with me are you?" Daniel asked softly.

"No, course not. I liked the gesture, I'm just angry that such a subtle action was deemed dangerous," Stephen said, he hesitated a bit, slowing his walking pace. "And if I can be honest, I'm a bit scared. It's left me feeling on edge."

"What exactly did Mr Barrow say to you?" Daniel said.

Stephen didn't want to betray Mr Barrows' trust in terms of what he revealed about himself and his past when he talked to him. "He told me to be careful about how we appear to others, and to be careful who to trust, that even people we think we can trust we have to second guess."

"He was talking from personal experience am I right?" Daniel said.

"Couldn't say," Stephen replied.

"You trust me don't you?" Daniel asked. "Look I know we've only been doing this for a short time but I trust you completely." They had stopped walking now. It had been a short time, Daniel thought. They had become friends shortly after Stephen had taken a job up at Downton, but it was only in the past week that they had found something more between them.

"I do, you know that. It's just, it's not my secret to tell," Stephen said.

Daniel nodded, "I'm sorry, you're right. There has always been talk about Mr Barrow, even when I was younger, though I didn't know what they meant when they said it. There was an incident that saw two detectives turn up at a cricket match looking for him though, but nothing ever came of it. He's always seemed alright to me, Mr Ellis is nice too."

"He said another thing," Stephen continued. "He told me that the Downton staff are okay, even the Crawleys too. He doesn't think they would cause me any trouble, but it's best to try not to give them a reason to think about it." Stephen shivered then. He couldn't see much of the sky above them as it was mainly covered by the tree canopy but the clouds earlier had a look of snow about them. And as if right on cue, a snowflake landed in his hair, then another on his nose.

Daniel noticed too, "It's snowing," he said simply. He looked around them, and listened. Nothing but trees and fallen pine cones. He turned back to Stephen and caught his gaze, they were about the same height, he being slightly taller than Stephen but only by an inch. "Snow close to Christmas, rather appropriate."

"Yeah it is," Stephen replied.

"Could be romantic?" Daniel asked. Stephen nodded. They both closed the gap between them, but they weren't both quite in tune with each other yet and as a result the moment became considerably less romantic when Daniel stepped on Stephen's foot. "Oh sorry," he said embarrassed. It was only the second time that they have done this. Stephen didn't say anything, just smiled and took this as a chance to try that again. This time, as their lips gently grazed each other's, their kiss working out better.

...

Later that afternoon Thomas was enjoying a bit of a moment of peace to himself. He took a sip of tea from the cup on his desk and sighed. After the events of earlier in the day, he reckoned he deserved that, and the piece of cake that he had stolen off the table while Charlotte and Mrs Patemore weren't looking. His peace was interrupted by a knock on the door.  _ No rest for the wicked,  _ he thought to himself. "Yes," he called out.

"Sorry to disturb you Mr Barrow," Stephen said, coming into his office closely followed by Daniel. They both were carrying several pine cones each. "You wanted these?"

Thomas had almost forgotten about that excuse he made up for Stephen and Daniel. "Oh! Um yes, put them on the floor in the corner over there, we can use them to decorate the mantelpiece in the servants hall later," Thomas said. "You still have a few hours to yourself Stephen, not expecting you back until six."

"Oh I know Mr Barrow, but we were getting cold outside, it has started to snow a little," Stephen explained. "I was wondering if we could sit in the servants hall for a bit?"

"Yes, I see no harm in that. You've been helpful with arranging the supplies for the Christmas day feast Daniel, so feel free," Thomas said.

"Thank you Mr Barrow, for everything," Daniel said.

"No problem," Thomas said as the two of them left.

...

The clock in the servants hall chimed six, when Thomas walked in, coming down from upstairs. He was about to sit down in his favourite chair when the telephone began to ring in his office. He picked it up on the fifth ring, "Hello Downton Abbey, this is Mr Barrow the butler speaking," he said.

"Thomas, I'm glad it was you that answered," Richard said.

"Richard, what's the matter? Why are you ringing? I thought you'd be home by now," Thomas asked, worried. He stretched over and kicked the door shut with his foot.

"I'm afraid that won't be possible. I'm not going anywhere tonight," Richard said.

"You're not in trouble are you?" Thomas asked, the worst possible scenario flashing into his mind, although the realistic part of him told himself that the police would be very unlikely to give Richard a phone call to his boyfriend.

"Oh no! Nothing like that, I'm at my parents place. Well next door actually, I'm using Mrs Potter's telephone," Richard said, reassuring Thomas.

"Are they okay?" Thomas asked.

"Yes they are well," Richard said. "I'm stuck here because it is snowing very heavily here Thomas. No trains are going anywhere from York, at least not tonight."

"Oh," Thomas said, sounding disappointed.

"I know, I'm sorry," Richard said.

"Can't be helped," Thomas said. "I was hoping to talk to you tonight. A lot happened today that's all."

"Well you could talk now?" Richard said.

"Not something I can say whilst being overheard Richard," Thomas said.

"It's fine Thomas, Mrs Potter is okay. I think I've mentioned it before, but she knew about me before even I did, so no worries on that score. Plus, the door is closed and she is upstairs. She is also a little hard of hearing," Richard said. "You, my darling, can say whatever you like to me," he said as if to emphasise that they were safe.

Thomas could feel Richard's cheeky smile down the phone as he spoke and it was enough to lighten his mood. "Stephen, you know, the footman."

"Yes I know," Richard said.

"There was a situation in the shop today. A woman noticed his familiarity with a friend of his," Thomas said. "Chris noticed too and we had to step in. He distracted her and I talked to Stephen in a rather blunt manner. I scared him I think." Thomas went on to tell Richard about what he said to Stephen, Richard listening only saying the odd word to show that he was still there on the other end of the line. "Tell me I did the right thing and didn't overdo things?" Thomas asked. "Chris seems to think I did right."

"And he is right Thomas, you did. Cruel to be kind, you know," Richard said.

"Yeah I know. Thanks," Thomas said. "I shouldn't have told you but I thought you should be aware in case either of them need our help again."

"Or in case we need theirs," Richard said.

"Yes I suppose,"Thomas said.

"You won't say a word about this to anyone?" Thomas asked.

"Not a word my dear," Richard said. "You can trust me."

Thomas hesitated. "Richard, about what I told Stephen about trust, I do trust you completely. You, and maybe a few other people, are the exception to that. I should have explained to Stephen that there are exceptions."

"I know you do. And I reckon Stephen will figure that out for himself, if he hasn't already," Richard replied.

"Also, Chris had to sell a new edition of a book at half price to get that woman to leave happy. I hope you don't mind, given the circumstances?"

"He did what he needed to do, so it's fine. Tell him not to worry about it," Richard said. "On the subject of Chris though Thomas, you could invite him up to Downton tonight in my place. You will have to send my apologies that I cannot be there tonight." Yesterday, Mrs Hughes had asked if Richard would like to join them for their evening meal today, Thomas had almost forgotten about that.

"Are you sure?" Thomas asked.

"Yes, I think it would be a good opportunity for him to meet everyone. It would get any introductions out of the way and make the Christmas day meal he has already been invited to more relaxed I think," Richard said. He meant what he said, but it still pained him not to be there.

"It's a bit short notice but I'll send a message to him and see if he would like to come," Thomas said.

"Good, well I'll say goodnight to you Thomas," Richard said. "I'll see what the situation is like tomorrow with the trains and call you to let you know."

"Yes, though snow hardly ever disappears in a few days let alone one night," Thomas said negatively.

"I will find a way to be with you at Christmas Thomas, I am a determined fellow, especially when I have you to motivate me," Richard said. "Besides I have a gift for you that I have to give to you on Christmas day."

"Oh yes you do," Thomas said. "You sure I can't have any clues?"

"Absolutely sure Mr Barrow," Richard said. "I promise you that you will love it."

"I know I will," Thomas said. "I love you, goodnight."

"Love you too," Richard said, putting down the phone.


	8. 8

The snow in York was coming down in thick clumps of snowflakes as Richard left Mrs Potter's house, next door to his parents home, after calling Thomas. He stood there outside her front gate for a bit, just listening. Snow is odd. It is essentially water but it falls to the ground with hardly any sound at all. Nothing, just silence. The only sound came from the occasional clump of snow falling off a leaf when the snow became too heavy to hold, or the squeals of delight far up the other end of the street as children played out in the road. Richard looked up into the cloud covered sky above him. It was dark now, but the white of the snow falling made it look grey instead. He walked back to his parents house next door, the snow crunching under his feet. He would normally not mind this rare kind of weather, it brought an almost childlike joy out in him usually. He thought back to when he and Thomas spent a few hours out in the snow when he visited Downton a couple of years ago. It was just after they had lost contact for a few months as a result of a blackmailer in Buckingham Palace. He had brought his ice skates with him on that visit, and had taken Thomas skating on a frozen pond in the Downton grounds. Thomas hadn't really skated before and he would never claim to be that good himself, but it was the best time he had skating in a long time, feeling Thomas pressed up close to him after so much time apart. Richard put his hands in his pockets as he stood in his parents front garden, miles away in his thoughts. He could have taken Thomas ice skating again, he thought. This situation he had found himself in today was cruel though as the snow and the cold were essential for ice skating and winter walks in the snow. However, it was snow that was keeping him from being able to do those two things. By the time the snow had cleared enough for him to return to Thomas, any hopes of ice skating would also have vanished. "Richard, come inside, you'll freeze out there," Richard's mother said, calling from the front door.

Richard jumped out of his thoughts, "Sorry, coming mum," he said, following her inside.

...

Chris steadied himself against the wall in the hallway of the cottage he rented, saving himself from falling over as a cat ran in through the open front door. The creature seemed oblivious to the fact that it almost caused an accident, and began rubbing itself affectionately around the bottom of Chris's legs. He had been asked by his landlady to feed her three cats while she was away visiting her sister over Christmas. He didn't mind as it wasn't much to ask. He had been glad to find somewhere to live where he wasn't asked too many questions about why he suddenly moved to Downton or why he wasn't married, the latter being a tricky one to answer without incriminating himself. He had no desire to end up in prison again. He had grown up and lived in a city for most of his life surrounded by people, but after those three years in a small cell with unpleasant company, he wanted to live out of the way of other people. He bent down to stroke the cat that had now started to wash its face with its paw, sitting happily at his feet. That was another reason why he didn't mind looking after her cats. Animals don't ask questions. He expected a lot of questions tonight though. He accepted the invitation from Thomas to eat with his lot up at the Abbey, not just because he enjoyed Thomas's company, but because he agreed with Thomas's reasoning in the note that he had sent to him just before he left the shop:  _ 'It will give you a chance to get any introductions out of the way before Christmas day...' _ . That was true, so he had told the boy, Albert he thinks he was called, who delivered the note, to tell Thomas that he accepts.

...

"Richie are you feeling alright? You haven't eaten much of your casserole," Marion asked from across the table in their dining room an hour later.

"Probably saddened that he has to spend Christmas with us old folk," John, Richard's father, joked before Richard could reply.

"No I'm fine mum," Richard said. "It's not that I don't want to be here, it's just-" Richard didn't know how to answer that sentence without lying even more.

"You wish you had someone else for company too," Marion said, finishing her son's sentence.

"I had plans for this Christmas. It was going so well, even going to plan, and I had to go and ruin it by getting myself stuck on the wrong side of Yorkshire," Richard said sadly. "It was going to be our first Christmas together. Even after four years, we never managed to get one Christmas you see."

"It's not your fault, no one can control the weather son," John said.

"I'm sure Thomas will understand that," Marion said.

"I know he will, he does, but I don't want him to have too," Richard said, feeling frustrated. He took a few more mouthfuls of his tea. "Do you mind if I have this later mum? It's not that I don't want it, I just think I might feel more like it later."

"We can reheat it love," Marion said kindly. "Come back to it in an hour or two?"

"Yeah, thanks mum," Richard said as he got up and left the room.

Marion listened as Richard went upstairs to the spare room that used to be his room. "Do you think there is any chance that the trains might run tomorrow?" she asked her husband.

"Maybe if the snow stops and they can clear the track, but that will take a while," John answered.

"He's so disappointed though. I just wish he had brought Thomas with him to York today," she said sadly.

...

Chris walked across the lawns at Downton a few hours later. It was completely dark, the only light coming from the windows of Downton Abbey, which stood out like a ship in a dark ocean. He had decided not to walk up the lanes and paths to Downton, or at least he tried to avoid them as much as he could. He was at much less of a risk of slipping on any black ice or compacted snow if he went through the woods, he knew the way by now. The dark didn't bother him that much but nevertheless he felt welcomed by seeing Downton's lights. He went around the side, to the servants entrance and knocked on the back door, hoping that whoever answered would be someone he recognised, and who recognised him. A woman opened the door, "Mr Webster, glad you decided to come, Mr Barrow told me that we would be expecting you." She stepped back, allowing him inside. "Sorry I should have introduced myself. I'm Phyllis Baxter," She said.

"Pleased to meet you," Chris said politely. "Mr Barrow has spoken highly of you. You are a good friend to him from what I have heard."

Phyllis smiled at the compliment, she was glad that Thomas valued her friendship. "Mr Barrow should be around somewhere. You will have to forgive us, you've arrived in the chaotic moment at the end of upstairs dinner and the beginning of ours."

"Don't worry about it, I can sit down somewhere out of your way," Chris said. "I'm sure things are running a lot smoother than you think, especially under Mr Barrow's watch."

"I sure hope that they are," came Thomas's voice from down the other end of the hallway. "Chris, good to see you again," Thomas said, approaching them both and shaking him by the hand. "I'll put your coat in my office if you like?"

"That will be fine thanks," Chris said. Black suited Thomas well, the tie and waistcoat befitting a butler, looked good on him.

A bell rang on the board in the servants hall. "Excuse me Mr Barrow, Mr Webster, that will probably be her Ladyship," Phyllis said.

"Of course, you go Miss Baxter. You didn't see Stephen out there did you?" Thomas asked Chris after she had left them both.

"No, is he okay?" Chris asked, thinking back to the situation earlier that morning.

"Oh he's fine, although he may not be unless he shows himself soon as I need the tables upstairs clearing, which was his job last time I checked," Thomas said. Just at that moment, Stephen came inside carrying a bundle of logs for the fire.

"Hello Mr Webster, didn't expect you here," Stephen said.

"Joining you lot for tea, at Th- Mr Barrow's invitation," Chris said.

"Stephen, what are you doing with those?" Thomas asked.

"Fire in the servants hall is running low, thought I'd fetch these for it," Stephen said.

"That's good of you Stephen and at any other time would be appreciated, but you should be upstairs clearing the table, not doing the duties of a hall boy," Thomas said sternly. "Give those to Albert to sort out and brush down your livery before you are seen upstairs, you have splinters of wood all over it."

"Yes Mr Barrow, sorry," Stephen said.

"As I expected, you run this place like clockwork Thomas," Chris said. "It suits you, being in charge."

"Being in charge or giving orders?" Thomas said smiling.

"Both," Chris said.

"Can I do nothing wrong in your eyes?" Thomas asked.

"I don't think you can Thomas," Chris said as he followed Thomas to his office,  _ "However hard I try,"  _ he said quietly to himself.

...

"Well it's certainly bigger than mine," Chris said, sitting down in the chair facing the desk as Thomas poured him a drink. "This room I mean. Suppose the office or cupboard in the shop is Richard's as well."

"You use it the most though," Thomas said, passing Chris a glass.

"Do you have time for this? Sitting here with me," Chris asked.

"Oh they can manage without me for a few minutes, this is what we do everyday, though Christmas always makes things busier for some reason," Thomas said.

"Must be nice to have this room to yourself, I imagine you need to escape every so often. Provides a more private setting for any late night phone calls too I imagine," Chris said.

"Yeah, one of the perks of the job I suppose. Mrs Hughes would probably say the same," Thomas said. "It did help when phone calls to Richard were all we had."

Thomas looked a bit sad all of a sudden, looking at the telephone on his desk. "I'm sorry that Richard couldn't be here tonight. I did wonder when it started to snow, but I didn't think it would get this bad," Chris said.

"Yeah me too," Thomas said. "Would have been our first Christmas together you know. It's pathetic really when I say that. Over four years we've had but never one actual Christmas day."

"It's not pathetic at all. It's not easy to have anything for us lot," Chris said. "Still I hope I can be a good substitute for company this evening."

"You're not a substitute Chris," Thomas said.

"Yeah I know. I can never compete with Richard. He will win every time," Chris said dryly, draining his glass.

"I don't mean it like that," Thomas said quickly. "I mean, I like having you around, you're not just here because you are the second best option."

"Right," Chris said.

"Aside from Richard, and I suppose Stephen now, you are the only person around here that can truly understand me. We share a bond over that surely?"

"We do Thomas. And I hope a bit more besides just that," Chris said. There was a knock on the door, indicating that they should be eating soon.

"We should go," Thomas said, as they both stood up. Before Chris opened the door though, Thomas stopped him. "I just want to say one thing."

"Go on," Chris said.

"I know you still carry a torch for me," Thomas said.

"Thomas I-"

"No, it's fine. I just want you to know that although we don't have the relationship that you desire, I do care about you. Just in a different way to how I care for Richard, if that makes sense," Thomas said.

"Yeah I get you," Chris said. Chris opened the door before any more could be said on the subject or before he could say anything that he may come to regret.

They walked into the servants hall, the table had been laid. "No that's not right," Thomas said.

"What is it Mr Barrow?" Charlotte said.

"We need to make room for another chair to my right," Thomas said.

"But I thought Mr Ellis couldn't make it?" Charlotte said.

"He can't but Mr Webster can. Can you set another place there for him?" Thomas asked.

"Of course Mr Barrow," Charlotte said.

"Albert, fetch another chair would you?" Thomas asked the hall boy.

"Yes Mr Barrow," Albert answered.

"Admit it Thomas, you like bossing people around," Chris said.

"He does," Daisy said coming into the room with some plates, before Thomas had a chance to answer. Thomas and Chris both exchanged a smile.

...

A bit later on and the staff's evening meal was well under way, a few different subjects of conversation were going on at different ends of the table, and there was a lot of chat about Christmas related festivities. Chris was sat to the side of Thomas, who was at the head of the table, opposite Mrs Hughes and next to Miss Baxter, who was opposite Mr Carson, who had decided to turn up this evening of all evenings. Thomas expected him to be there on Christmas day of course, but he was not the happiest to see him today when he had invited Chris. Thomas had an odd relationship with Mr Carson. There was a level of respect between the two of them, but Thomas always felt like he wasn't quite good enough to be butler in Mr Carson's eyes. He always felt like he was living up to expectations rather than perusing them on his own terms when he was present. There was also an unsettling feeling of being judged too. When Richard had been at Downton the same times as Mr Carson had, he felt the disapproval and suspicion radiating off him, and he was beginning to get the same feeling with Chris sitting next to him too now. Thomas didn't fear his disapproval as they had been down that road before, but it irritated him that he felt like he was still an object of suspicion. Maybe he was just being paranoid. He wondered if Chris felt it too. "So how are you finding Downton Mr Webster?" Mrs Hughes asked, to make conversation at their end of the table. "You've been here for a few months I understand."

"I am very happy here thank you Mrs Hughes," Chris began, whilst bracing himself for a wave of questions. "It is a bit of a change to what I had been used to back in York but I enjoy my work. Mr Ellis is a good person, and a decent employer." Chris noticed the little smile flicker across Thomas's face when he complimented Richard.

"Ah yes, you work in the book shop in the village. Was that hard to adjust too?" Mrs Hughes continued.

"Not really. I held a similar position in a different shop in York for a while before unfortunate circumstances meant I had to leave that position behind me," Chris said. Thomas was hoping he could jump in and change the subject before Chris was forced to think of a way of explaining why he left that job, without having to explain the real reason for his change in circumstances, but before he had the chance, Mr Carson jumped in on the line of questioning.

"What 'unfortunate circumstances' would they be Mr Webster? It must have been a rather pressing matter to have you change city life for country living," Mr Carson said. Thomas glared at him, but he didn't seem to notice.

Mrs Hughes did though. "Mr Carson, it may not be any of our business," she said to her husband. Miss Baxter was looking concerned though she was trying not to show it, instead focusing heavily on the plate in front of her. Aside from Thomas and Chris, she was the only person at the table who knew the real story, as Thomas had confided in her a few months ago.

"It's alright Mrs Hughes. Only natural to be curious. The business ran into financial difficulties Mr Carson, my employer had invested money overseas and when the depression hit in 1929, he was forced to sell up," Chris said. It was a complete lie of course, but what followed was less so and more a twisting of the facts. "I found myself in some desperate circumstances and I ended up living in a part of York that did not contain much in the way of pleasant surroundings or good company. If I am honest Mr Carson I found myself living in a neighborhood made up of criminals, although there were a few innocents hidden amongst them."  _ Credit where credit's due,  _ Thomas thought as he listened to Chris's cryptic tale. He understood the clues of course, as did Miss Baxter who caught his eye very briefly while Chris was explaining, but to anyone else it would be assumed that he ended up living in one of York's poorer neighbourhoods.

Mrs Hughes seemed to have fallen for it too. "Many others like you would have been victim to financial ruin in that year Mr Webster, I'm sorry you had such bad luck," she said. "What brought you to Downton if I may ask?"

"Well I was stuck in that part of York for a while but as soon as I could I got out and after a while of figuring out what I wanted, I decided to visit a friend of mine, Mr Barrow," he explained smiling at Thomas.

"Oh so you knew Mr Barrow before you lost your job?" Mr Carson asked.

"Yes, we met in a pub in York once," Chris said with confidence. Thomas glanced at him hoping to tell him silently to be careful how you proceed with this. But Chris just smiled back briefly as if to say:  _ 'It's okay Thomas I've got this.'  _ "We got chatting, good ale can make me talk a bit more than I should have and I think I kept Mr Barrow from leaving, but he talked about how he worked here so I thought I'd pay him, and Downton, a visit. He sang the praises of everyone here so I thought why not? What have I got to lose?"

Thomas caught on to Chris's 'edited' version of events. "Mr Webster said he was looking for work and I introduced him to Mr Ellis, who eventually offered him a job, and therefore a reason to stay," Thomas said.  _ Of course it was a lot more complicated than that, but it's pretty much true,  _ he thought.

"Seems you got good fortune back after all Mr Webster," Miss Baxter said, though there was a lot more meaning in that than the others could possibly understand.

"That I did," Chris said, Thomas and him exchanged a smile again. "I'm lucky to call Mr Barrow a good friend."

There was a pause in the conversation then, each of them finishing their plates of food. Thomas hoped that would be the last of the questioning that Chris had handled very well. However several minutes later Mr Carson spoke again. "So is it just you then Mr Webster or are you married?"

_ Crap crap crap,  _ Thomas thought as he held his breath.  _ Why couldn't he keep his questions to himself?  _ Chris took a while finishing his mouthful, playing for time. Of all questions he had to ask that one. "I am not Mr Carson. I have found over the years that I am best suited to my own company and that I wouldn't make a pleasant catch. Not when I didn't have much to my name."

"Things are better for you now though?" Mrs Hughes said.  _ Shut up!  _ Thomas said silently to Mrs Hughes whilst catching Miss Baxter's eye, who seemed to be thinking the same thing.  _ Come on Thomas you useless fool, say something! _ Thomas thought as he tried to will himself to say anything to get them to talk about anything else.

"They are yes, but I am happy as I am, that's all I can say really. I don't want to push my luck," Chris said. At that moment Mrs Patmore announced that dessert would be ready soon and that since some of the guests upstairs couldn't make it due to the weather, they would be eating a sherry and raspberry flan with custard as otherwise it would go to waste. This got a joyful reaction from the table and Thomas was ready to kiss Mrs Patmore for her absolutely perfect timing of that announcement, as it provided the perfect distraction from the horror that was unfolding at his end of the table. "Since we have to wait for the custard to cook, do you mind if I'm excused for a moment?" Chris asked.

"Not at all. You're the guest here," Mrs Hughes said. Chris got up and exited the servants hall. Thomas heard the back door shut.

"I'll be back in a few minutes Mrs Hughes," Thomas said, also getting up from the table before heading in the same direction Chris had gone in.

...

Thomas found Chris lighting up a cigarette whilst leaning against the same wall where he himself used to spend many moments when he used to smoke more than he does now. Chris turned his head towards him when he heard Thomas close the door behind him. "You know that is my smoking spot?" Thomas said as he walked over, careful not to step on the frozen puddles in the yard.

"Want one?" Chris said, offering Thomas a cigarette.

"No, thanks. Been trying to have less of those," Thomas said, though he stood next to Chris about half an arms length away, stuffing his hands into his trouser pockets in an attempt to hide them from the bitter evening air. "Sorry you had to endure being asked that question."

"I should have seen it coming really," Chris said breathing out the smoke. "I'm sure you've had to answer it too at some point right?"

"I have, at a job interview," Thomas said. "No surprise that I didn't get that job."

"It’s their loss Thomas," Chris said. "Wish people can keep their noses out of our business though. I don't mind answering questions about where I came from or why I'm here, as that's only to be expected, but not more than that really."

"If I'd known Carson chose this evening to visit then I would have invited you some other time. I would have tried to spare you from that," Thomas said. "The rest of them would have known better than to have asked that question. I hope you don't regret accepting my invitation?"

"No of course not! It's been a good evening, I'm glad I came," Chris said.

"Despite practically being on trial?" Thomas asked.

"I've been on trial and trust me these questions tonight are a lot kinder than the ones I was asked," Chris said, a note of bitterness filling his voice.

"Sorry, poor choice of words," Thomas said.

"Don't worry about it," Chris said.

"Still, you fooled them though. I say I was rather impressed by how you told them about what happened to you before you came here. Almost would have believed it myself," Thomas said.

"The best lies are told within a truth Thomas," Chris said.

They were both silent for a while, but still feeling comfortable in each other's company. Thomas looked up at the sky. It was still an odd kind of grey colour, and snow was still falling, but it was lighter than before. Chris watched him and seemed to read his mind. "He could still be back by Christmas Thomas."

"A lot more snow could fall by then though," Thomas said.

"Yes. But it could stop soon as well. You and him still have tomorrow and maybe Christmas morning at a pinch for things to clear enough for him to get back to you," Chris said. "Richard comes across as a determined fellow to me. I wouldn't be surprised if he has found some snow boots and is preparing to walk here if necessary!" Chris hoped that would cheer Thomas up a bit, and it was a little victory to him to see Thomas smile and chuckle a little at that.

"He would. Although I would tell him not to be so stupid," Thomas said.

The back door opened suddenly, spoiling their little moment. "Mrs Hughes told me to fetch you too," Stephen said. "Custard is ready."

"Thank you Stephen," Thomas said.

"We should go in," Chris said. "I love your company Thomas but it's bloody freezing out here."

...

Marion couldn't stop herself from yawning as she went upstairs later on that same evening. It was late and she and John would be heading to bed, but she wanted to check on her son first. Richard did come down later for tea and his hunger must have gotten the better of him as he finished everything and the crumble for dessert, he always did have a good appetite as a boy and as a man he hasn't lost that. He was where she expected him to be. He was sitting in a small armchair that sat parallel to the window in his old room, and now her and John's spare room. He hadn't heard her come upstairs, he had one elbow resting on the windowsill, his hand supporting his chin as he gazed out at the night sky. The clouds had cleared making way for a cool winter's night sky. Richard knew most of the main constellations, he had shown an interest in spotting them when he was younger. She knew a lot of them herself. Once you could spot the patterns in the sky and learn their names, you couldn't unsee them. In his other hand was a glass that was half empty of his father's favourite whisky. He turned as he heard her come into the room. He had left the light off as to best see the sky so the only light came from downstairs and outside. "I should be able to find you some pajamas Richie, and a few spare clothes if you like. You didn't actually take everything with you when you stayed here back in September."

"I don't have anything with me do I? Forgot about all those things," Richard said miserably.

"You can't plan for every eventuality," she said. She sat down on the bed. "Can I put the lamp on?"

"Yeah, the window is facing the wrong way for my favourite ones anyway," Richard said. The first constellation he ever found was Orion the hunter. It was always so bright and majestic, hanging there at an angle in the east in the evening at this time of year.

"We will try and get you home tomorrow or even Christmas day itself. They do run a few trains, even if you beg a lift from a goods train," she suggested.

"I don't like to disappoint him," Richard said. "I had a plan to make this year's Christmas special."

"You can't fix the whole world Richard. Some things are out of our control."

"I got him something though," Richard said. "Wondering now if maybe it was too much."

"You haven't told us what you got him. Can I see it?"

Richard reached inside his jacket pocket and took out a box and handed it to his mum. Marion opened it carefully, "Oh my!" she gasped as she looked at the item inside.

"You do think it is too much don't you?" Richard said.

"No! It's just- Well I was not expecting that," she smiled. "Must have cost a lot though?"

"Not something I could have easily afforded on my old wages, but I was able to give myself a bit of a bonus for Christmas," Richard said. "You think Thomas will like it?"

"You know this will mean the world to him, and to you I reckon. Though you should tell him to be careful with it," Marion said. Richard didn't have to ask what she meant. "I will pray very hard tonight that God grants you a window of fine weather to get you back to him for Christmas."

"Thank you mum," Richard said, feeling a bit better about himself and his gift for Thomas.

"I'll fetch those pajamas alright? I think they are in your father's wardrobe," she said getting up. "Then I'll say goodnight."

"Thank you, night mum," Richard said. He had to find a way to get back to Downton, even if the train was not an option. Thomas had said he had a determined nature and he intended to live up to that expectation.


	9. 9

Thomas yawned for what felt like the fifteenth time that morning. Christmas eve was always going to be a busy day. He had to oversee the planning of the upstairs Christmas celebrations as well as their own downstairs, which was a task that always made him tired at the best of times. But it was even harder today as he didn't sleep well the night before. He couldn't get comfy lying in a bed that was supposed to have Richard in it as well, and his thoughts were constantly saddened by the fact that, despite how much he was trying to be hopeful (and he really was trying), he was becoming more and more resigned to the thought that Richard would not be with him tomorrow. He put on a brave face of course, playing down his worries when anyone asked about Richard, and decided to try to distract himself from his own mind by throwing himself into the planning and preparation for tomorrow and the days that followed. By mid-morning he was finishing settling the bills for the ridiculous amounts of food that had been ordered.  _ It's a wonder that anyone will be able to move for the next week after they have consumed all this,  _ he thought as he signed off the amounts owed to the grocer that Mrs Patmore orders most of the food from. A knock at the door interrupted his work.

"Ah, Barrow, I'm sorry to disturb you. I know you must be busy but I have some matters to discuss with you regarding the servants ball?" Lady Mary said.

"Not to worry M'Lady," Thomas said, standing up before she waved a hand that indicated he could sit down again.  _ You have no idea how much we all have to do for you, and I know you are about to add to my workload, but if it makes you feel better then apology accepted,  _ Thomas said in his mind as he really couldn’t be bothered with this right now. "How can I help?"

"Well I was thinking about how many will be attending," she began, sitting down in the chair opposite Thomas. "The numbers amongst the staff are not what they used to be, though the addition of Charlotte and Stephen help a little."

"They do M'Lady," Thomas said.

"However we still don't have enough to make it a proper event so I was wondering what you thought about inviting a few who used to work here, or have connections through family and such?"

"So we boost numbers by inviting people who are not servants of this house to the servants ball?" Thomas queryed.

"Yes, but one cannot throw a suitable party without enough guests," she said. Thomas decided that she had already made up her mind about this decision so he wondered why she bothered consulting him.

"Do you have anyone particular in mind to invite M'Lady?" Thomas asked.

"Well I was hoping between Mrs Hughes and yourself that you would think of enough people to invite, though I did have a few suggestions. Mr Carson of course has to be invited."

_ Naturally,  _ Thomas thought. "Of course," he said.

"And I thought Daisy would want to bring her husband along," Lady Mary suggested.

It took a few moments for Thomas to work out who she was referring too. He always thought of Andy as just Andy. "Very good M'Lady," he agreed.

"Moseley should probably be invited too, though it would also be nice to invite someone who could dance, which I don't think he can qualify for, she said, not hiding the smirk on her face as well as she probably thought she was. Moseley's dancing was legendary, Thomas had to agree. "I was thinking, maybe Mr Ellis would like to join us?" Thomas's was now giving her his full attention. "He is around here often and I imagine he can dance, can't he Barrow?"

"Um, I'd think he would like to come yes and I think he can dance from what I've heard," Thomas said carefully, hoping he didn't appear too flustered.

"Oh wonderful, that's settled then. You will invite him for me?"

"I will ask him if he'd like to come yes," Thomas said.

"I'm sure he will love too."

"There is one problem though," Thomas began. "Mr Ellis went to visit his parents in York yesterday morning before it started to snow and he has been unable to get back to Downton so far. It is not guaranteed he will be able to make it, even if he wants too," Thomas said.

"Oh I'm sorry to hear that," Lady Mary said, and her voice really did seem to indicate genuine concern. "There is still time though, with any luck he will be able to make it. Can you call him and ask?"

"I can, thank you," Thomas said.

"Good, well I'll leave you to it," she said.

...

Thomas had been thinking about Lady Mary's suggestion of inviting Richard, and he wasn't sure what to think. Richard loved to dress up smart, Thomas knew he had more than just one outfit suitable for the occasion and he knows Richard can dance, although he's only danced with him once. He wondered if it was a good idea though. They would be out in the open and it would be rather hard for either of them to just appear as two good friends, especially after all this time. Then there was temptation and how they would have no choice but to resist it- it was like at Andy and Daisy's wedding, they could only ever watch each other dance, and they couldn't hope to dance together, not in that setting. He was torn, but when the telephone rang later that day in the afternoon, Thomas decided he would just see what he thought about it and leave the decision to him.

Thomas picked up the phone and didn't even have the chance to formally answer as 'Downton Abbey the butler speaking', as Richard spoke first. "Hello darling," he said.

"You should be more careful, you could have greeted anyone as darling," Thomas teased.

"I knew it was you," Richard said.

"Didn't expect to hear from you so soon," Thomas said. "But I'm glad too, how are you?"

"Doing okay I suppose, under the circumstances. My mother won't stop cooking my favourite food, I know she feels sorry for me. For us," Richard said. "My father sent me on a few errands, I think to try and take my mind off things, though it didn't work. I am only capable of thinking of you and what you are doing."

"Did you sleep okay?" Thomas asked.

"Eventually, I sat up by the window rather late watching the stars until the snow started to fall again," Richard said.

"That could sound romantic if you weren't on your own," Thomas said.

"I suppose you have worked it out by now, but I don't think I will be getting home today, I will try tomorrow morning as early as I can," Richard said.

"I gathered that yeah," Thomas said, the line remaining silent for a bit.

"I just want to see you, this is all too familiar though right?" Richard said. "Us both sitting on opposite ends of a phone line."

"Painfully so," Thomas said.

"Describe to me how you are now Thomas. What you are doing, and wearing. Paint me a picture please," Richard said. "Actually no- let me guess?"

"Nothing special, but fine if you like, guess away," Thomas said.

"Well firstly, you are nothing but special Mr Barrow, and I can see you smile at that and your lip just twitched am I right?" Richard asked.

"You are," Thomas said.

"I think there are a considerable amount of papers on your desk," Richard said.

"Correct," Thomas said. "You know this how though?" He played along as he may as well.

"Well I heard you push them aside when you picked up the phone, and also because it is Christmas Eve and you must be busy," Richard deduced.

"What about me though? Describe me now," Thomas said.

"You are leaning back in your chair, slouching a bit. It is cold I imagine so you are still in full butler attire but you have been fiddling with your tie whilst talking to me, so it has come undone a bit. Maybe you have loosened off a button or two from your shirt?"

"You know me perfectly don't you?" Thomas said.

"Yes and I want nothing more than to sort your tie out for you right now," Richard said. Thomas could feel the mood lighten between them both, despite the situation.

"You can take it off me when I see you again," Thomas said.

"I will remember that Mr Barrow," Richard said. Thomas could almost see the grin on Richard’s face.

"You are biting your lip aren't you? Trying not to say more, that could land you or me in trouble," Thomas said, turning Richard's game back on him.

"I am," Richard said.

"You are leaning against the wall in the same way you were leaning up against the car outside York police station, looking good and enjoying knowing that you do?" Thomas said.

"Correct again Mr Barrow," Richard said. "Not feeling as smart though, I'm a bit of a mess if I am honest. I am in need of a new shirt from our wardrobe."

Thomas suddenly remembered Lady Mary's suggestion. "On the subject of your good taste in fashion, I need to ask you something?"

"Oh? Advice is it?" Richard asked.

"No! I know how to look good thank you," Thomas said.

"That you do, I have first hand experience of how good you look in or out of clothing" Richard flirted back.

Thomas took a breath and tried to focus on what he was trying to ask Richard. "The servants ball the day after Christmas, if you are able to make it, would you like to come with me? Lady Mary asked me to ask you, she is in need of more guests to make the numbers look better. Plus, I think you being there will make the whole room look better and will make me feel a lot happier to be there," Thomas said.

"Is it a formal sort of thing? They never did such a thing at Buckingham," Richard asked.

"It is, though I've always thought it is a bit silly," Thomas said.

"But it will give me an excuse to wear something smart and you the same?" Richard asked.

"Yes it would," Thomas said.

"Well I will be happy to accompany you Thomas, I will spend the evening admiring how good you look all dressed up," Richard said.

"That's sorted then," Thomas said. "I confess I wasn't sure about it, not when I would want to dance with you and no one else, but you’d be the one person I couldn't dance with."

"I will be with you though," Richard said. "And maybe in the future we could find a place where we could dance together? Maybe take a trip to London? Izzie and I know a few places.

"Yeah, but I'm not sure if I am ready for that quite yet, not after last time," Thomas said.

"That's okay I get it. Maybe we should get a gramophone? Then we could dance in our living room?" Richard suggested. "They have been around for a few years now so they are getting more affordable. Izzie got one recently I think.”

"I'd like that, we will have to look into that," Thomas mused.

"How did last night go with Chris by the way?" Richard said, changing the subject.

"Well on the whole, he enjoyed it I think, mostly."

"Mostly?"

"Well he was asked a lot of questions but we expected that. You had the same," Thomas said.

"I did, only natural I suppose," Richard agreed.

"Thing is Mr Carson was there, which I didn't expect or else I would have warned Chris that he is a bit funny about our sort, and he asked Chris the age old 'are you married?' question," Thomas explained.

"Oh he didn't! I've had that one before. No one else's business but some people seem to think it is. I feel for him Thomas, I really do. How'd he handle that?" Richard said.

"Well, considering. He found a way around it but the whole situation was saved by Mrs Patmore loudly announcing dessert would be served soon," Thomas said.

"Well thank God for Mrs Patmore and her impeccable timing," Richard said. "I'm glad you took my advice and invited him, I think he needs that."

"Yes, but sometimes I worry Richard, that my attempts to be his friend are causing him pain," Thomas said.

"It's not an easy situation to know what to do, but if you decided not to extend the hand of friendship so to speak or cut him out of the equation altogether, then it would hurt him more. Least that's how I'd feel if it were me," Richard advised.

"Yeah I think you're right," Thomas said. The door to the room opened softly and Mrs Hughes silently signaled to him that she needed to talk to him, before closing the door again. "I have to go Richard, duty calls."

"Right of course, got carried away talking didn't we?"

"I always have time for you," Thomas said. "I suppose I should wish you a merry Christmas, just in case?"

"No don't. I want you to say that to my face tomorrow," Richard said.

"You won't do anything stupid will you?" Thomas asked. "I'd rather you are late and in one piece."

"Would I?" Richard asked.

"You might because of me," Thomas said. "So I'm telling you not too."

"Alright, I won't do anything you wouldn't."

"I'll see you then?" Thomas asked.

"Yeah you will, goodnight darling," Richard said softly, in the same tone he would say those words to Thomas before they went to sleep each night.

"Goodnight love," Thomas said, ending the call reluctantly.


	10. 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is rather Chris and Thomas centric because I wanted to give them a moment xx

The clock in the kitchen read half past five as Chris put the finishing touches to tidying up the shop and the office before leaving. He had closed up the shop at four, as per Richard's request, due to it being Christmas eve, and had spent the rest of his time finishing off a few things in the office. He pulled on his coat, having decided to call it a day and was wondering about waiting for Thomas to get back since he hadn't wished him merry Christmas and he wanted too before Christmas day. Funny thing being in love with someone that you can never have; makes you behave rather strangely. Chris was in two minds: he wanted to see Thomas but at the same time, he wanted to avoid him. There was a painful twitch in his leg, though this always happens so he ignored it and, under his breath, he told it to piss off. He picked up his bag and keys off the table and yawned as he switched off the light. However in doing so, there was a sudden pain that shot through his leg causing him to cry out and collapse on the floor. He held his breath against the pain, his back leaning up against a kitchen cupboard door. He waited for the pain to stop but it didn't. It was his own fault, he shouldn't have been sitting in the same position for a couple of hours in a cold room. Movement seemed to keep any pain at bay, but moving was the one thing he could not do right now. He only wished that he had been granted a small piece of good luck and that this happened before he switched off the light, as now he was left sitting on the floor in the dark. The dark itself didn't usually bother him when he was outside, but now all he could think about was how he had spent three years in a dark cell in York jail, and that, more than anything, more than even the excruciating pain in his leg, struck fear into him. He had no choice but to sit and wait for either the pain to go or for Thomas to get back so he could help him or get help. Though, either way, he knew he would be here for some time yet.  _ So much for a happy Christmas,  _ he thought.

...

"Mr Barrow, there is a woman on the phone who wants to speak to you," Miss Baxter said as Thomas looked up from his paper. He was just killing some time before he would have to get back home for the night. He hadn't been looking forward to spending another night alone, and was bitterly disappointed that he wouldn't get to wake up on Christmas morning to see Richard lying next to him. "She says her name is Miss Thornwood, but I don't recognise the name," she continued. Thomas thought for a moment, the name sounded familiar but couldn't place it. "Though she did say you'd know her as Izzie?"

"Oh yes of course, sorry. I only really call her by her first name sorry, she's a friend," Thomas said.

"Oh I remember now, I spoke to her on the phone once, sorry," Phyllis said.

"It was a while ago don't worry about it, did she say what she wanted?" Thomas asked as he got up to go to his office to answer the telephone.

"No, only that she needs to talk to you. She did sound a bit concerned," Phyllis answered.

"Right, well I shouldn't keep her waiting," Thomas said. "I'll say goodnight Miss Baxter, I'll head home after I've spoken to her.”

"Yes. Goodnight Mr Barrow, and merry Christmas," she said.

...

Thomas picked up the receiver that had been left on his desk. "Hello Izzie," he said, with no need to bother with the usual formalities. "Sorry to keep you waiting."

"Hello Thomas, it's fine I'm just glad you are still here and haven't gone home yet," Izzie said. "Honestly, you need to tell Richard that he needs to get a telephone of his own."

"I agree, though that's not why you are calling is it?" Thomas asked.

"No course not. I was just a little concerned that's all. Richard probably forgot, he must be kept busy now. It's just that he said he would call me today, but I haven't heard from him. I was just wondering if everything was okay?" Izzie asked.

"I didn't know he planned too sorry," Thomas said.

"He mentioned it in the last letter I received from him. He is usually very organised so I didn't think he would forget, but I suppose he could have," Izzie added, trying to cover her worry in her voice.

"He's okay though Izzie, don't worry. It's not the best situation we're in but I spoke to him earlier this afternoon," Thomas said.

"Right. But what do you mean? What situation are you both in? Has someone threatened you both or something?" Izzie asked.

Thomas realised she wouldn't know about how their Christmas plans have been ruined due to the weather and that he wasn't being very reassuring. "Oh no it's nothing like that! We're fine, no danger. It's just that Richard is in York, that's why I said I only spoke to him and why I haven't actually seen him."

"Oh well that will explain why he hasn't called me. Knew there must be a logical explanation. He will tease me for my concern I know," Izzie said, Thomas instantly noticing her voice relaxing and sounding much more like the woman he knew.

"He will be glad for it," Thomas said.

"Why hasn't he come back for Christmas though? In his letter he sounded very excited about spending it with you," she asked. "You haven't fallen out have you?"

"No, we're good. Great in fact," Thomas said, smiling as he admitted that. "It's just some rather bad luck and poor timing. Richard went to York to do a bit of Christmas shopping, and to visit his parents yesterday morning. While he was there though, it snowed badly and so he hasn't been able to get back."

"Oh that is a shame. There is no snow down here in London though, so I didn't think about that. Is there any chance of him making it tomorrow?" Izzie asked.

"I guess. It hasn't snowed since last night, got to wait for the stuff to clear enough for the train to get through," Thomas said.

"Well I hope that it does. If I wasn't in the wrong city then I would fetch a shovel and clear a path myself!"

Thomas laughed, "I would imagine nothing less of you!"

"I'm glad to hear it Thomas. Now, you should be getting home. If Richard makes it back tomorrow, and I expect he will, then you will need to be awake. You will be no use to anyone half asleep," Izzie ordered.

"Right you are, well happy Christmas Izzie, and pass that on to Lucy as well," Thomas said.

"Thank you, and no need she's here so she heard ," Izzie said. "I should also say I sent you both a Christmas card. Though I reckon you may not get it until after Christmas if the weather has stopped everything."

"Oh that's nice of you. Shall I ask Richard to call you when he gets back here?" Thomas asked.

"Oh not immediately Thomas, I won't want to interrupt your time together, tell him to call me in a few days' time," Izzie said.

"Right, will do. Goodnight Izzie," Thomas said.

"Bye Thomas," Izzie said, ending the call.

...

Chris woke with a start upon hearing the sound of a key in a lock, and for a horrifying moment thought he was back in prison, though the sight of the kitchen table leg in front of him, reassured him enough that he was not. He must have fallen asleep or passed out, and how he realised how cold he was sitting on a stone floor for probably hours in the dark. And now Thomas was going to discover him like this. He wanted help but he hated feeling vulnerable.

Thomas let himself in through the door around the side of the shop, locking the door behind him before taking off his coat and hanging it up, where Richard's should have also been. It was dark as he hadn't put the light on yet. He had this odd feeling though that he wasn't alone. He stood still and held his breath, listening for any sound that might indicate that someone else was there. No one had broken in, he thought, unless they locked the door behind them, which was unlikely he reckoned. He told himself that he was being silly, but he couldn't shake the feeling. He pushed the half closed door between the hallway and the kitchen open with his foot and turned on the light. "Christ!" Thomas exclaimed as he jumped upon seeing Chris sitting on the floor of his kitchen.

Chris looked up at Thomas standing in the doorway, "Not quite I'm afraid Thomas. Believe he is supposed to show up on Easter Sunday not Christmas eve," Chris said, trying to sound humorous.

"What on earth are you doing sitting in the dark?" Thomas asked, is dignity recovered a bit he hoped. "Were you waiting for me?"

Chris pushed himself up on his hands to straighten himself up a bit. "Not intentionally, though I was left with no other choice. I don't want you to think that I am some sort of creep." Thomas looked at the man on his floor. He looked very uncomfortable, but he still hadn't tried to get up.

"Are you okay?" Thomas asked.

"Leg chose an inconvenient moment to completely cease up. I was about to leave you see, so I'd already switched off the light. Otherwise I wouldn't have been sitting waiting in the dark."

"You've been here for hours?" Thomas asked, concerned, filling his voice.

Chris should have been touched by his concern but sympathy was exactly what he didn't want as it made him feel weak and useless. "Yeah and I wasn't exactly living in great hope of you turning up. Thought maybe you would sleep at Downton tonight."

"I prefer my own bed Chris really," Thomas said.  _ Despite the fact that it was missing one very important person,  _ he added in his mind. "If I knew I would have come home sooner."

There it was again, that feeling of vulnerability that he hated. "I can manage on my own for a few hours Thomas," Chris said.

"Been a bit longer than that," Thomas said. "Four and a half hours to be exact." He could sense the defensive tone that was threatening to surface in Chris's voice.

"Yeah well I don't need or want your sympathy Thomas," Chris snapped, like an injured animal caught in a trap.

Thomas was taken aback, he'd never heard Chris shout. Even when he was angry or upset he always kept himself calm, but Thomas could relate to the feeling of not wanting help or sympathy, even when he needed it, and so he knew exactly what Chris needed him to say. "Fine! You are an idiot and a fool and it is your own fault for getting yourself into this stupid situation! It is quite frankly pathetic just to be lying there on the floor."

Chris just stared at him, shocked at what Thomas had just said as he was not expecting that. Thomas stared back wondering if he had gone too far with speaking what he thought Chris was probably thinking. But then something odd happened. Chris smiled and Thomas smiled back and they both chuckled in spite of the situation. "Well thank you for your honesty," Chris said.

"No problem," Thomas said curtly, but his lip twitched as he tried to suppress a smile. "But unless you want to become a permanent feature of mine and Richard's kitchen floor, then I suggest that we try and sort you out."

"Rather not call a doctor Thomas. Will only add to my humiliation," Chris said dryly.

"No need. I happen to have a bit of knowledge on the medical front, and I think I know how to fix things, at least enough to get you up from there," Thomas said.

"Hmm a medically trained butler. Rather diverse set of skills you have Thomas," Chris said.

"Well I was a medic in the army during the war, then worked in the hospital when I got injured and sent back, and then I ran Downton as a convalescent home for a bit," Thomas explained.

"You ran Downton?" Chris asked, surprised. "I bet the rest of them loved that."

"It was interesting I'll say that," Thomas said with a smirk. "Anyway, what you need is something to tell those muscles in your leg that they actually are meant to move and are not supposed to behave like statues. May I?" he asked, indicating he needed to feel where the pain was coming from.

"Be my guest," Chris said. Thomas knelt down on the floor next to him. "It's around the knee and a bit below that," Chris said, pointing towards his left knee, looking at Thomas’s face close to his.. He tried not to let how good it felt to have Thomas touch him again show, as Thomas gently felt around the affected area through the fabric of his trousers, first at the back of his knee and then around the side and the front. However he was quickly distracted from his thoughts when Thomas touched the most painful area just below the knee cap. "Fuck!"

Thomas stopped immediately. "Sorry, but I think I am right. The muscles feel very stiff, they need warming up," Thomas said. Chris was worried that Thomas would suggest a massage, thinking that might be a bit too much for himself to handle. "I have this type of cushion upstairs. A nurse I worked with suggested it when she noticed my hand was hurting me. You warm it up for a few minutes and it works wonders trust me."

Chris felt relieved, "I'll try that, thank you."

"I'll be a few minutes okay?" Thomas said before quickly exiting the kitchen and going upstairs. Thomas switched on the light in the spare room and drew the curtains, just like he always did. He kept most of his things in with Richard, but some stuff that was not needed so often was kept in some draws in the other bedroom. After rummaging through a few draws, he finally found it in the bottom draw. He had two of these. It was an odd looking thing. It had a long rectangular shape and didn't have the softness of a normal cushion, but was a lot more flexible.

"Got it," Thomas said, coming into the kitchen again. "Instead of stuffing it has lots of small beans in it, coffee beans I think. But after it has been used several times, the smell of the coffee wears off. I have another upstairs that is made of ceramic beads and another with lavender," he explained, putting the oven on and placing it inside, leaving the door slightly open so that the cushion didn't get too warm, but also to warm up the room a bit.

"Never heard of one of those before," Chris said. He shivered as the warmth from the oven reached him. They waited a few minutes and Thomas made them both some tea. Thomas took the cushion out of the oven and tested it with the back of his hand to make sure that it wasn't too warm. Satisfied, he knelt down and handed it to Chris.

"Put it on the area that hurts the most first, then when it gets too warm, move it around to another spot," Thomas advised.

Chris placed the cushion on his knee. It took a bit of time for the warmth to reach him, but slowly he felt the pain ease a bit. He closed his eyes and sighed pleasantly. He looked up at Thomas who was sitting at the table. "It feels a lot better already," he said. "I don't know how I can thank you."

"Well getting off my floor will be a good start. You're making the place look scruffy," Thomas said poking fun at Chris's predicament.

Chris however, as Thomas expected, took the insult in good humour. "My apologies."

"Here," Thomas said, offering Chris his hand to pull him up. Chris took it and with a little wince he stood up and stretched.

"Well I'll never take being able to stand for granted again," Chris said, sitting down in the chair across the table from Thomas who pushed a cup of tea across towards him. "I'm sorry about all this Thomas, must have been the last thing you wanted to do."

"Look don't worry about it. All sorted now, and you can keep the cushion, use it again tonight before bed," Thomas said.

"Thanks," Chris said. "Not just for this but for turning up. I don't think I could take another moment of being trapped in the dark."

"Never took you as someone who is scared of the dark?"

"Not usually, but tonight stuck here alone, it took a lot of effort not to feel like I was back there again," Chris said, avoiding looking at Thomas's face.

Thomas knew that what Chris meant by 'there' was prison. "The mind can play tricks on us all."

"I can't ever go back. I'm scared that I'll do something to make me end up back there," Chris said quietly.  _ But what really scares me is doing something to send you there. _

"You're going nowhere near that place ever again. You're in a good place here, not a bad decision to come after me in the end really," Thomas said, hoping to reassure him. "You're safe here." Thomas almost reached across the table to take his hand but thought better of it as that wouldn't be fair on him.

_ I hope Richard knows how lucky is to have a man like you, _ Chris almost says, though instead he says "I should be getting home I suppose."

"Will you be okay to walk back? I could come with you if you need?" Thomas offered.

This time Chris didn't mind the sympathy. "No, I'll be okay I think. Everything feels a lot easier now and I think some movement will do me good. Besides, you need to sleep. I don't have to get up early tomorrow, you do."

"If you're sure?"

"I am."

"Well I'll see you tomorrow then?" Thomas said.

"Yeah. Christmas dinner at Downton Abbey, how could I forget?" Chris said. Before Chris went to leave he turned back to look at Thomas once more. "Richard will be here. I would lay a bet on it. He will move heaven and earth for you Thomas." Chris left straight after that, deciding not to hear Thomas's reply.


	11. 11

The sky was overcast with light grey cloud on Christmas morning as Thomas walked with the majority of the other staff down from Downton to the church in the village for the Christmas morning service, the snow still covering every surface in a white layer. He was walking at the back alongside Miss Baxter and Mr Moseley, who despite living in the village, had come up to Downton only to walk back down again to church. He wanted to walk there with Miss Baxter, it didn't take a genius to figure out the reason for his detour. "Cheer up Mr Barrow, can't be all that bad," Mr Moseley said. "It's Christmas day, no one is miserable on Christmas day."

"Oh aren't they? Thank you for informing me," Thomas said sarcastically. His mood must have been easy to read, or perhaps they just felt the pain coming off him. Mr Moseley didn't say anything more on the subject of his mood. Miss Baxter gave him a sympathetic look, knowing why he was not exactly full of festive cheer. Going to church was not a favourite activity of his, and he hated all the ceremony that had to be added in on special occasions like Easter and Christmas, but he had to admit before all their plans had been ruined by the weather, he was looking forward to being able to sit up close to Richard in public for a few hours. That wouldn't be happening now though.

As they walked through the centre of Downton Village towards the church, Thomas tried to ignore his and Richard's home. Thinking about Richard just made him sad at the moment. He had woken that morning on his own again and even though that had been the norm for most of his life, he couldn't get used to it anymore. Every morning he had Richard there with him and he felt cold without him. Despite what a lot other people would say if they knew that they shared a bed every night, it felt natural to him to have Richard there. As they neared the churchyard, there was a large tree with a seat underneath it, and on this seat sat a familiar figure. "Mr Barrow, isn't that Mr Webster?" Miss Baxter said to Thomas as their little group walked along the snow covered road. Chris caught Thomas's eye as Thomas looked in his direction and nodded ever so slightly. He was sitting there looking rather relaxed, slouching slightly, arms folded across his chest, feet crossed at the ankles. He had a smirk on his face that seemed to suggest that he was amused by a group of people all braving the cold just to sit in a cold building for a few hours.

"I'll catch you up in a few minutes Miss Baxter," Thomas said.

"We'll save you a seat," Miss Baxter offered.

"Yes, thanks," Thomas said as he left the party of Downton church goers and walked over to his friend.

"Happy Christmas Thomas," Chris said as Thomas approached.

"I hope you haven't been sitting out in the cold waiting for me just so you can say that?" Thomas asked, sitting down next to him. The seat was free of snow due to the tree above them.

"I confess I did want to say that to you, after the events of yesterday evening, I forgot to in the end," Chris said. "Although, you don't look happy to be here," he added nodding towards the churchyard.

"Well it might have been okay, if things had turned out as we planned," Thomas said sadly.

"Well you don't have to go in now do you?" Chris asked.

"I do. Would set a bad example if I decided to bunk off church on Christmas day. It is expected of me to be there and people would only talk," Thomas explained.

"Well I'm glad I'm not bound by duty to go. Haven't set foot in a church for years. It's not my thing really, especially not since I had some self entitled snob quote the bible at me during my mockery of a trial," Chris said bitterly, looking away from Thomas.

"I understand," Thomas said.

"Well with respect, you can't really understand," Chris sneered, his mood quickly turning sour, though he instantly regretted snapping at Thomas.

"I know, sorry," Thomas said, feeling awkward. "That was the wrong response wasn't it?"

"You were only trying to be kind, sorry. It's a touchy subject, if we want to have the old religion discussion then we will need alcohol and plenty of it. I don't want you to ever really understand, you only would if you experience what I experienced. Though I suppose you understand more than most people," Chris said. He didn't say anything else to add to that and Thomas wondered if he should go, but he didn't want that to be the last thing they talked about until Chris came to Downton that evening for Christmas dinner.

"How's your leg feeling?" Thomas said to change the subject.

"Not too bad actually, a hell of a lot better than it did when you rescued me and that cushion helped at night too," Chris said.

"I'm glad. Though you shouldn't be sitting in the cold, that won't help you," Thomas said.

"You are quite right Thomas, I'm just an idiot half the time."

"Only half the time?"

Chris smiled, which Thomas was glad of. "Funny, Mr Barrow. Very funny."

"I should be going in, Chris," Thomas said, getting up. "You sure you won't want to join me?"

"Perfectly sure thank you. Though I'll be happy to join you and Richard at Downton tonight. I am looking forward to that," Chris said.

"Might just be me. You still think he will turn up don't you?" Thomas asked.

"Yep," Chis answered, stretching his arms out to the side of him. "As I have said, I'd lay a bet on it."

"I hope you are right," Thomas said.

"Course I am!" Chris said with a smile.

"Carson will be there tonight by the way," Thomas said, remembering the horrible conversation last time, "at dinner tonight."

"Oh don't worry about him Thomas, I can handle him," Chris said with his trademark confidence. Thomas seemed to have lifted his mood easily, as he always did, often without trying.

...

Richard arrived at York station just before midday. He had been up early, filled with a small glimmer of hope when he saw the snow beginning to turn to water as it melted a little, just the occasional drip from a tree outside his window, but it was something. It had motivated him to walk to York station early to see if there were any trains running in the direction of Downton. He had spoken to a guard there who had told him that one train will be running at midday from York, though the track had only been partially cleared so it would have to terminate several stops before Downton, from there he would be on his own. He felt a bit bad that he was leaving his parents and therefore abandoning, what would have otherwise have been a traditional Christmas roast dinner, for a sandwich on his own on a train. They understood though, and his mother had given him extra layers of clothing, and some sturdier shoes just in case he had to walk, which he reckoned he would.

He found the same station guard that he had spoken to a few hours earlier, as well as a few times in the past few days. He had spoken to him about trains to Downton so much that when Richard approached him to ask which platform he needed to be on, he just said "platform two Mr Ellis," without Richard even having to ask the question.

"Thank you," Richard said, finding he was standing on the correct platform already. There was hardly anyone else about and for a normally busy train station, it was a bit odd. It was Christmas day though, not many people would be out travelling anyway, even if the weather was okay.

"You'll have a bit of a walk when you get off," the guard said, a metal mug containing steaming hot tea in his hand. "About eight miles I reckon and that's if the train gets as far as it is supposed to go."

"I didn't reckon on an easy journey, so no surprises there," Richard said.

"After three days of you coming to the station and asking me about trains to Downton, I reckon you could feed my curiosity a little and explain what is so important in Downton?" the guard asked. "Though I suppose if it is none of my business then you are also free to tell me so."

Richard thought before replying on how to answer that. "Only natural to be curious I suppose. I recently moved to Downton, and a friend of mine has invited me to Downton Abbey for Christmas dinner in the evening, though I hoped to be back before then."

"Blimey! Wouldn't mind dining on an aristocratic Christmas dinner myself," the guard said.

"Nothing that grand I'm afraid, no my friend is a servant there," Richard explained, deciding to not mention the exact job title of his 'friend'. "I'm eating with the staff there downstairs. Though I can assure you the food will be equally divine."

"Looks like you have a good motivation to get back home then," the guard said. "I'm as eager for this train to arrive as you though, when it departs I can go home. My wife makes a wonderful roast dinner." The man looked at his pocket watch and put his tea down. "Now if you will excuse me Mr Ellis, I'd better go and do my job. Good luck with making it home," he said, pulling out his whistle.

Five minutes later Richard found himself sitting on the train home, in a third class coach that was almost empty apart from him and one other man at the opposite end to him. He had enough time to relax a little, eat something and then change into some better shoes for his walk home. He had borrowed a map from his father, though he had driven the route he intended to take several times, so was confident he knew the way. He also had a torch in case he wasn't able to beat the sunset.

The train arrived at it's planned destination on time, and Richard walked through another quiet station and out onto the road, a quick look at his map confirmed whether he needed to turn left or right. And so, feeling not as capable as Captain Scott, Richard turned left along the icy road that would eventually lead him to Thomas Barrow.

It was about two in the afternoon when he had left behind the town and its houses and pavements and he was now out in the open countryside. He was on a narrow country lane, though the hedges were low enough at this point for him to see out over the fields that would normally be green. It was just a blanket of white, though a few patches of green were just about visible in one or two places near a hedge or underneath a tree, where the temperature was just a little warmer. He was high up at the moment, and somewhere out in the distance was his destination. Looking forward and around at his surroundings though turned out to be hazardous as he didn't see the black ice that one of his feet stepped on. Richard's left foot slipped out from underneath him and he would have ended up falling rather painfully he would imagine, had he not been able to quickly grab a branch that was sticking out of the hedge. Richard laughed a little in relief once he had steadied himself, "Okay, more carefully now," he said to himself. He stopped on a grass verge when he reached the end of the lane and a small junction and checked his map. He recognised the road, but it wouldn't do to end up taking a wrong turn, so he checked just to be safe and to estimate how much further he needed to go. He reckoned he had another seven miles to go until he reached Downton village, then another mile on top of that to get up to Downton Abbey itself. In normal conditions that distance would be easily achieved in two or three hours if he kept up a good speed, but the snow and ice made it particularly difficult to get anywhere quickly. If he kept on the way he was going it would be probably double that time, which would keep Thomas waiting too long. He needed to think of a way to make this journey quicker.

About half a mile or so later, or about half an hour later, and Richard came across a bit of an obstacle.  _ I thought this would be a bit of a problem,  _ he thought as he stood at the top of a very steep slope in the road. No one in any mode of transport would have been stupid enough to try to get down this slope in one piece ever since it was covered in a shiny layer of ice and snow. He looked at both sides of the road. Both steep hedges with little room to walk down either side without stepping on the ice and slipping to the bottom of the hill. Richard thought about seeing if he could find another route but then had an idea. Probably a rather stupid one, but it could work. He looked at the ice in front of him and carefully tested with his foot to see how slippery it was. Almost falling over again gave him his answer- "Very," he said. He sat down in the middle of the road- a foolhardy decision normally, but no one would be coming down here now. He took off his coat, and placed it on the ground in front of him. He'd done sledging before as a child but that involved an actual sledge not his father's old coat. He looked around him, feeling rather self conscious, hoping no one was watching him, as he sat on the coat with his feet out in front of him. "This is stupid," he said as he thought about how this could end very badly. He pushed himself a bit with his gloved hands, he and his coat stuck on the ice a bit and for a moment he thought he would have to abandon his plan. But then he lost the friction and he started to slide forward a bit, slowly at first. "Oh the things I do for you Thomas!," Richard said out loud just before he gained enough speed to see him slide down the slope at considerable speed. Before he had a chance to think about how he was going to stop at the bottom, the ground levelled out and he came to a gradual stop at the bottom of the slope. Now he had time to think, he was very grateful there wasn't a bend in the road or else he would have ended up in a ditch or a hedge. He sat there for a moment leaning back on his hands and laughed. Anyone who might have been watching would have thought he was insane, but he was just glad it had worked. He stood up and picked up his coat giving it a good shake, relieved to find that it was undamaged.  _ This will make for an entertaining tale to tell when I get home,  _ he thought as he continued on his way.

The time was almost four in the afternoon by the time Richard reached another extremely slippery road. The ice seemed to come and go in patches, the sun coming out every so often, aiding its demise. But the melting was not quick enough and Richard took one look at the road ahead of him, void of slopes he could slide down to make his journey quicker and a bit more fun, and thought  _ No way.  _ He did have an idea though. Snow was a lot easier to walk though than ice, especially when it was covering grass, so he wondered if he could walk parallel to the road, but through the fields. He reckoned he had about four miles to go and with the light beginning to fade as sunset drew near, he wanted the quickest route possible. He found a gate into a field and sat on top of it having a look at his map that showed he could walk through about four fields following this road until he reached another road. Once he reached that road, he would just have to see how it goes. He jumped down into the field and checked in his bag for Thomas's Christmas gift. He had tucked it away in an inside pocket and stuffed other things on top of it to stop it from falling out. No way in hell was he going to lose that.

The light was fading even quicker about half an hour later, but Richard was making good progress. Nevertheless, he would still not make it to Downton for a few hours yet. He didn't want to switch on his torch until he absolutely had too, as he had no spare battery and didn't want it to fail when he needed it the most. He was managing well enough at the moment. He heard the bleating of some sheep up ahead of him. Sheep he didn't mind, he was just glad it wasn't a field of cows. The snow was only ankle deep at its worst so far but it was hard to estimate how deep it would be with every step he took and suddenly he stepped forward into an unexpectedly deep mound of snow causing him to lose balance and fall with a thud backwards. The blanket of snow broke his fall well enough, but Richard lay there looking up at the cloudy darkening sky above him, winded for a moment. He moved his fingers and toes and then his arms and legs and was happy to find nothing hurt, though he was so cold by now he couldn't feel his fingers or toes anyway. He closed his eyes and just lay there in a bizarrely peaceful moment until he heard the panting of a dog approaching him. He opened his eyes and looked up at a sheep dog looking quizzically down at him. The dog barked excitedly and Richard heard a man's whistle in the distance. "You're probably thinking that I am an odd looking sheep aren't you?" Richard said gently to the dog. The dog just looked pleased to see him, its tongue hanging out its mouth and it's eyes glowing a bit in the fading light.

"Hector!" Richard heard a man shout as he approached. A torch shone in his and the dog's direction. "Oh there you are, boy. What have you found?"

Richard thought this might be a good time to sit up. He hoped the man, who he assumed was the farmer who owned this land, wouldn't be too angry that he was trespassing. "Good evening sir," he said, aware how ridiculous he must seem right now.

"My! Are you okay? Bit of an odd time of day to be lying around out here isn't it?"

Richard stood up and brushed the snow off him, "It's not a habit of mine I'll freely admit. I'm sorry if I distracted your dog though." He felt a bit embarrassed now.

"Oh don't worry about it, Hector is only young and he's still trying to learn how to decipher the difference between a sheep and a ball of cotton. Though it may not be any of my business but I can't help but wonder why you are out here now? It is almost dark and you'll freeze soon I'd reckon." The man guessed that the stranger before him, who was dressed too smartly for a walk in the country, had tried to drive down the lane and had found himself stuck.

"I think you will find me a fool when I explain," Richard said.

"I might do," the man said, amused.

"I have been travelling from York. Got a train most of the way but had eight or so miles to go where I had no choice but to walk."

"My goodness! You have been busy then!" The man exclaimed. "Where abouts are you headed so urgently then?"

"Downton," Richard said.

"Now that is handy," the man said. "I was about to head back that way myself, if you don't mind a bumpy ride on the back of my tractor then I could give you a lift?"

"I would be very grateful sir," Richard said.

_ He's very polite this chap, _ the farmer thought. "Never introduced myself. Name's Matthew Tomlinson."

"Richard Ellis," Richard said, shaking Mr Tomlinson by the hand.

"And of course you've already met Hector," Mr Tomlinson said. Hector looked up when his name was mentioned. "My tractor is just beyond the gate to the next field, you should be able to squeeze on the back." This was certainly not how Richard had expected his journey to go, although nothing in the past three days had turned out how he expected. Perched on the back of the tractor with a rather excitable young sheep dog smiling up at him, Richard couldn't really complain. He would get home in time for some part of Christmas now, maybe even in time for dinner at Downton. "So," Mr Tomlinson shouted over the loud engine of the tractor, "What is so urgent back in Downton? Sweetheart waiting for you I bet?"

"Something like that," Richard said. Mr Tomlinson seemed like a pleasant fellow but Richard couldn't risk giving too much away. Never could be too careful as you couldn't know what people might think or do."And I'm expected for Christmas dinner at Downton. I have a friend who works there who invited me along."

_ Secretive also,  _ Mr Tomlinson thought. "Well whoever they are, they must be important for you to trek across the countryside. Rather romantic gesture if I may say so."

"He'll probably think I'm an idiot for exhausting myself doing this," Richard said. He looked worryingly towards Mr Tomlinson when he realised he had slipped up by saying 'he'. "My friend I mean," Richard added, hoping to cover his mistake up. Whether Mr Tomlinson didn't notice or didn't care, Richard couldn't tell, but he didn't comment on it either way.

About half an hour later, Richard recognised the roads again as the tractor made light work of any snow covering their path. He could see Downton and the estate and he smiled at how his luck had held up just when he needed it too. "Will you be okay from here Mr Ellis?" Mr Tomlinson asked as the tractor stopped at a fork in the road. "The village is only five minutes walk from here and I imagine you would like to change before dining at Downton Abbey?"

"Yes this will be perfect," Richard said jumping down from the tractor. Turning back to Mr Tomlinson he said, "How much do I owe you?"

"Oh don't think about paying me Mr Ellis, Christmas season of giving and all that. Just make sure that you get to spend some decent time with that man of yours," Mr Tomlinson said with a wink before driving off. It was only when the tractor had pulled away and was travelling away from him down the lane that Richard realised what Mr Tomlinson had said and that, therefore, he must have heard his slip of the tongue earlier, but not minded. Richard felt something deep within him that he didn't feel that often, a real sense of hope that there are more people who can be an ally towards people like him and Thomas than he knows about.

...

Richard thought about going home to freshen up and change but he didn't want to waste anymore time so he decided to head straight for Downton, aware he was going to turn up not appropriately dressed for dinner. Despite the fact that he will not be looking his best, he was sure that Thomas wouldn't care in the slightest.

Downton felt like home when the grand house came into view, finally. He went straight around the back to the servants entrance and hesitated a bit on the doorstep. It appeared he was nervous, though he wasn't really sure why. He opened the door and was immediately hit by the smell of roast goose. In his desperation to get here, he had forgotten how hungry he was and now he was sure he could eat the whole thing. He heard laughter from the servants hall and the snap of Christmas crackers. He listened in for a moment. "Okay so that was an awful joke, don't know who thought that would be good enough for a cracker." That was Chris's voice, sounding rather jovial.

"Oh please don't say you have another. I'm not sure I could bear it," Richard heard Thomas say.

"I might do. My little brother used to think this one was hilarious," Chris began. "What do you call a deer with no eyes?"

"Don't know," Thomas said.

"Almost. No idea!" Chris said. "You see. No-eye-deer."

"That's not funny," Thomas said.

"Okay well what do you call a deer with no eye and no legs?" Chris said. "Still no idea! You know cause the deer can't move and can't see." Richard smiled, and he reckoned Thomas must have too because of what Chris says next. "See, you did find that funny. You're just too sensible to admit it Thomas."

"Here, have more goose Chris, if you are eating you can't tell me anymore jokes," Thomas said. Richard could hear in Thomas's voice that he wasn't really annoyed.

"Mmm, don't mind if I do," Chris said. Richard decided he would make an appearance now and he slowly walked into the open doorway of the servants hall. Thomas didn't see him at first, but looking at him for the first time in days, Richard just knew right then, that every effort he made today was worth it.

"I hope you'll save some of that for me, I'm starving," Richard said and as he spoke everyone in the room turned to look at him, but he only looked at one of them back.

"Richard?" Thomas said.

Richard grinned. "Hello Thomas."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The farmer Matthew Tomlinson was a real person, not in the 1930's, but in the early 19th century. He was a farmer from West Yorkshire who wrote a diary where he expressed his view that homosexuality is natural and therefore should not be punishable by death, as it was then.


	12. 12

It had only been three days but it had felt like a lot longer. Thomas, along with everyone else, had his gaze on Richard who was grinning back at him. Once his brain had established that he was really there standing in front of him, Thomas observed how Richard was missing his usual neat appearance somewhat. He was wearing two coats it seemed- one that was a bit too big for him and looked a lot more worn that his smarter coat that was hidden underneath. Richard's hair was wet and messy, blown out of place and in several directions by the wind. His nose was red from the cold and there was a streak of mud up his left cheek which Thomas reckoned he didn't know about or else he would have removed it before arriving. All in all, Richard looked disheveled but despite this, Thomas couldn't help but see him as the most handsome man he'd ever come across. Richard's appearance also made Thomas think:  _ It looks like he has walked from York! He didn't, did he?  _

"What the bloody hell has happened to you Richard?" Chris asked, breaking the silence and earning himself a glare from Mr Carson for his language, which Chris ignored.

"Many things Chris," Richard said. "But I'm here now." Richard looked at Thomas again, who still hadn't said anything further.

"You didn't walk all the way back here from York did you?" Charlotte asked from down the other end of the table.

"Not entirely," Richard answered. "Just about seven or eight miles of the last part of my journey."

_ You walked that far for me? _ Thomas silently asked Richard. No one had ever done anything like that for him before. Thomas stood up rather suddenly, his chair scrapping on the floor, and stood facing Richard. He wasn't sure what he planned on doing next. He knew what he wanted to do. He wanted to kiss him and kiss him properly, again and again, but he couldn't do that here. So he decided on the next best thing, though it seemed that Richard was having the same thoughts, for as soon as Thomas took one step closer to his lover, Richard stepped forward too. And so, together, they pulled each other into a hug. Thomas's head rested momentarily on Richard's shoulder, facing away from the rest of the table, so no one saw him when he closed his eyes and sighed. They pulled back too soon, as any longer would appear much too suspicious. Thomas straightened himself out again. "You look exhausted," Thomas said.

"I could do with food and some warm clothes, yes," Richard said. "I was going to change before arriving here but I was already so late and I didn't want to waste any more time."

"We keep some spare clothes in one of the empty bedrooms," Mrs Hughes said. After there was an incident with a pot of fish sauce and Andy's shirt a few years ago, she and Mr Barrow had decided it would be a good idea to have some spare clothes set aside for those staff who didn't live at Downton. "You are welcome to see if they fit you."

"That's very kind of you Mrs Hughes, thank you," Richard said.

"No problem. I'm sure Mr Barrow will show you where we keep them," Mrs Hughes said, giving Thomas a look.

Thomas smiled in thanks at her. "Yes I will, this way Richard," Thomas said as Richard followed him out of the room.

"That was sweet," Charlotte remarked after the pair had left.

"I would hardly think 'sweet' is the correct word for it Charlotte," Mr Carson said. "It is not the way a man in Mr Barrow's position as head of staff should be seen behaving."

"I see no reason why not Mr Carson," Chris said. "They were just happy to see each other. Correct me if I am wrong, but being happy, especially this day, is not a crime."

Mrs Hughes could feel the tension coming off her husband and Mr Webster, and decided to intervene before the mood turned sour. "There is no need for any of that thank you," she said to both men. "All that matters is that Mr Ellis is home safely. Mr Webster, will you pass me the goose so we can put some aside for Mr Ellis?"

...

Richard followed Thomas upstairs to the men's bedroom corridor where Thomas opened the door to his old room. Neither of them had said a word on their way up to the attics and Thomas wasn't giving anything away. He followed Thomas inside shutting the door behind them. As soon as the door clicked shut, Thomas had his mouth on Richard's, one arm around his waist the other behind his neck and in his damp hair. Richard quickly responded, pulling Thomas closer by placing his hands on each of Thomas's shoulders. Their kisses were deep and passionate, and Thomas didn't care in the slightest that Richard, after a day of travelling, didn't smell the sweetest. He was here, his mouth on his own, both their hearts beating together. He could stay like this forever. Richard had wanted to do this since he first walked into the servants hall. Three days was a long time and yes he could have made his life easier by waiting another day or two to come home, but this was why he had made the effort and yes Thomas was worth it. He leaned his head back a bit, tilting his chin up as Thomas started to lay tender kisses on his neck. He sighed pleasantly. But he knew where this was going, and yes he wanted that but now would not be a good time. If they were too long someone might come looking for them. "Aren't I supposed to be getting out of these clothes?" Richard asked.

Thomas chuckled, seeming to forget the real reason they were up in this room. "You should be yes, I could assist."

"We can't now," Richard said as he planted a kiss on Thomas's forehead as he faced him again. "We will be missed." Thomas looked disappointed. "Besides we have tomorrow don't we? Let's wait, then we can savor the moment?"

"Why are you always so sensible?" Thomas asked, kissing him again.

"You know full well that I am not," Richard said as Thomas reluctantly pulled away from him and opened up a wardrobe and rummaged around before pulling a few items out.

"These should fit," Thomas said, handing Richard a pile of clothes.

"They will. You know my size by now," Richard said. He put the clothes down on the bed and shrugged off his two coats and started to undo his tie and shirt. As he did so, Thomas looked down.

"You're hurt," he said looking at Richard's ankle.

Richard followed Thomas's gaze. There was a patch of red showing through one of his socks, he hadn't even noticed it until now, probably because of the cold. "It's nothing to worry about."

"You finish getting changed, I'll just fetch a few things from the bathroom to clean that," Thomas said.

"Darling, you don't need too," Richard said softly. "It is fine really, couldn't even feel it before you mentioned it."

"You walked all that way for me. I want to fuss over you," Thomas said. "Do you know what you cut it on?"

"No, afraid not. Probably a stone wall or maybe the road when I slid down it on the ice."

Thomas looked alarmed. "You fell on the road too?"

"No, it was a controlled situation. I slid down a hill covered in ice on top of my father's coat, and it was the only way to get down it in one piece and quickly," Richard explained.

"You said you wouldn't do anything stupid," Thomas said.

"I didn't. It all worked out well anyway," Richard said. "You worry about me too much."

"Only because I love you," Thomas said as he left to go to the bathroom.

"And I love you for it," Richard said after Thomas had left.

...

Thomas came back a couple of minutes later just after Richard had finished changing. He was looking a lot less disheveled now and a lot more like his usual self. Thomas thought he looked tired though. He supposed he should be considering everything that he has done today, although Thomas has only heard a snippet of Richard's adventures. Richard liked to tell stories, so Thomas imagined he was holding back so that he could share with everyone else whilst sitting at the table eating Christmas dinner. Richard was sitting on the edge of the bed waiting for him, Thomas knelt down before him and put a few things he had gathered from the bathroom next to him on the floor. "You really don't need to bother with it," Richard said. "It's beginning to heal anyway, looks like it stopped bleeding ages ago."

"And you would be happy to see if it gets infected with any dirt that might have gotten into it during your little adventure today? I think not," Thomas said.

"No but-"

"Richard dear- shut up and let me help you," Thomas said.

"Okay okay, fine. I give in," Richard said in good humour.

"Thank you," Thomas said, letting his eyes meet Richard's just for a second before setting to work, cleaning his wound. It wasn't a big cut. Nothing like he has dealt with before, probably only a inch and a half but long enough and deep enough to have bled for a while, judging by how much dried blood was on the surrounding skin.

"Won't need stitches will it?" Richard asked.

"No course not. It's a cut Richard, not a stab wound. Don't be so dramatic," Thomas said grinning.

"I'm not. I was not the one who insisted on dealing with it anyway."

"You're not afraid of needles are you?" Thomas asked.

"Will you think less of me if I admitted I'm not keen on them?"

"Course not, though you've answered my question by just saying that," Thomas said. Richard winced as Thomas wiped some cotton soaked in antiseptic over the cut. "Sorry."

"No carry on," Richard said. He was finding sort of adorable watching Thomas being so gentle. "You're good at this. In another life you could have been a doctor."

Thomas smiled. "I do seem to find myself tending to people's injuries a lot these days."

"Oh? Who else has needed your tender hands?" Richard asked.

"Um, Chris," Thomas said, wishing Richard had not used those words.

"What happened to him?"

"Found him sitting in the dark on our kitchen floor when I came home yesterday evening, his leg, the injured one, had completely seized up. He had been there for hours waiting for me," Thomas explained.

Richard looked concerned. "He said that happens sometimes, but never for long."

"The cold affects the muscles. I warmed them up and that seemed to fix things for now," Thomas said.

Richard raised his eyebrows. "You warmed him up, how? I hope you didn't offer a massage?"

"Richard don't be jealous! I didn't give him a massage, just that cushion I have that you can warm up in the oven. I didn't think Chris would have been comfortable with me giving him a massage," Thomas said.

"Oh I don't know. You know he fancies you, he'd probably enjoy your hands on him," Richard said.

"Richard! That's not fair on him and you know it."

"I know sorry."

"We should go down now, and don't you mention what we just talked about to Chris. I don't think he'd want anyone to know and I think it would make him uncomfortable," Thomas said.

"I wouldn't. I was only joking. Chris is my friend too you know," Richard said.

"I'm glad to hear it," Thomas said, fixing a piece of gauze over Richard's wound.

"You're not cross with me are you?" Richard asked as Thomas stood up.

"No course not, I know you meant nothing bad by it," Thomas said. He stepped close to Richard again and smoothed down a corner of Richard's shirt collar before kissing him tenderly.

"Shame we have to go," Richard said.

"You must want to eat. Can imagine you are starving," Thomas said.

"I am, though I need some time alone with you later before we leave. There is something I want to give you," Richard said.

...

Richard did want to eat. Thomas watched him help himself to another portion of meat, roast potatoes and vegetables. He was effectively having two Christmas dinners, though he deserved it. Chris grinned at Thomas, who was also noticing now hungry his friend was. "Did you not eat for the whole three days you were in York Richard?" Chris asked.

"My mum is a very good cook, but I am pretty worn out after today," Richard said.

"You said you walked part of the way back, but what about the rest of it?" Stephen asked.

"I was lucky. In a few ways," Richard said, before pausing to finish another mouthful. "There was one train heading in the direction of Downton today, but it only travelled part of the distance I needed as not all of the track was cleared of snow. So I had about eight miles to make up myself. I had reckoned that I could walk that distance and still arrive here in a decent time but I underestimated how difficult walking in the snow can be. I ended up cutting through some fields as they were quicker to walk through than the ice covered roads, but by that time it was getting dark."

"So how did you get back here so quickly?" Charlotte asked.

"I was lucky once more. I slipped up in one of those fields-"

"-That doesn't sound very lucky," Charlotte interrupted.

"Charlotte, let Mr Ellis finish," Mrs Hughes said.

"Sorry Mrs Hughes."

"I slipped up and found myself lying on my back in the snow when I was discovered by an inquisitive young sheep dog and its owner, Matthew Tomlinson, the farmer who works that land," Richard continued.

"Oh Mr Tomlinson is who you, and many others, helped with the harvest back in September," Thomas said. He had fond memories of that day and Richard's tanned torso.

"I thought the name sounded familiar," Richard said. "Anyway, he was kind enough to give me a lift back to Downton on the back of his tractor, if it wasn't for him I would probably still be walking."

"Well it sounds like you've had quite a day," Miss Baxter said. "You shouldn't feel you have to stay if you want to rest."

"That's kind of you Miss Baxter but I was very determined to be here and I don't mind staying. I'm not opening the shop tomorrow anyway, so I can rest then," Richard said.

"So was it worth it Mr Ellis? Walking all this way just for dinner with us lot?" Charlotte asked.

Richard couldn't correct her by saying that he came home for Thomas but he reckoned that she knew that already. "It absolutely was."

...

Later on, after the food had been cleared away and everyone was wondering if they would ever need to eat again, Thomas came into the servants hall carrying a large crate containing what looked like a dozen or so bottles of wine. "A present from Lord Grantham," Thomas announced. That announcement was met with nods and mutterings of approval.

"His Lordship has chosen well," Mr Carson said, taking a bottle. "We do have glasses Mr Barrow I hope?"

"Daisy is fetching those now Mr Carson, although this is an informal occasion, so drinking from the bottle is welcome as far as I am concerned," Thomas said. He thought it best to give the option. He couldn't really imagine Mr Carson drinking wine straight from the bottle.

"I'll fetch us a few glasses shall I Thomas?" Richard asked. "Chris, shall I get you one too?"

"Yes thank you," Chris said.

"I was right then," Chris said to Thomas when Richard was fetching the glasses.

"About what?" Thomas asked.

"That he'd come back to you today," Chris said. He didn't need to bother lowering his voice to say so, as some music had just been turned on by one of the maids.

Thomas smiled. "You were. If we had made a bet then I would owe you."

Richard appeared again with three glasses. "I suppose we'd better set a good impression, at least at first," he said, pouring each of them a drink. "When things move on a bit more this evening, then we can drop the formalities and just have a bottle."

"Exactly how far are you letting things go Thomas?" Chris asked. "Do drunk servants serve as well as sober ones?"

"I think tonight, I have no say in how far certain people will go," Thomas said, looking in the direction of a rather happy looking Mr Moseley. "Though fortunately for us, those individuals no longer work at Downton."

"Well I suppose we should drink to something," Richard said.

"How about hope for the future?" Chris suggested. "That is what you both have given me."

"I'd go with that," Thomas said.

"Yes, me too," Richard said, picking up his glass. "To hope for the future."

"Hope for the future," Thomas and Chris said together.

...

A little while later Thomas and Richard were sitting alone at the end of the table. Chris had involved himself in a game of cards with Mr Bates and Anna, which he seemed to be winning. Stephen had been playing for a while too but had excused himself from the game and had instead begun looking at the clock nervously and was pacing a bit. Thomas was wondering what the matter was and he had meant to ask, but was getting distracted by Richard holding his hand under the table. He reckoned if they were more reckless they could hold hands in full view of everyone, and no one would notice as no one was paying them the slightest bit of attention. It was strange, because Thomas knew that most people here wouldn't mind too much if he and Richard held hands. It wasn't exactly a secret who they were to each other but at the same time, they couldn't be seen. Stephen then appeared to take a deep breath and walk over to them both. Thomas reluctantly let go of Richard's hand, even though there was no danger from Stephen. "Mr Barrow, I was wondering if I can go out for a few hours?"

Thomas reckoned he knew what this was about, and Richard seemed to read his mind too. "Meeting someone?"

"You saying I can go Mr barrow?" Stephen asked.

"I am, although it's a simple question," Thomas asked.

"Thank you Mr Barrow and yes I am if that's okay?" Stephen said.

"Well going for a walk on your own in the dark would make me suspicious," Thomas said. He saw that maybe he was coming off a bit too strict sounding so tried to lighten things. "Go Stephen, just be back before midnight as that is when we will all be leaving or going to bed and you won't want to be locked out."

"Take a torch as well, it's still slippery out there," Richard added.

"And this," Thomas said, grabbing a bottle from the crate on the table. "It's been started but there is still enough for the both of you. You should celebrate properly. And I shouldn't really be encouraging this so don't do anything I wouldn't do, okay?"

"No, thank you Mr Barrow," Stephen said. "He will appreciate it." Stephen took the bottle and turned to leave but hesitated. "I hope you don't mind, but I thought you should know that I think you are a good person and Downton is lucky to have you in charge."

Thomas did not expect that. Stephen had always been quite shy and that was rather forward of him but he was touched. "Thank you Stephen, I appreciate that. Now go and see him."

Stephen smiled and left. "He is right, you are a good man. The best really," Richard said.

Thomas thought this was a good time for them to slip away. "Come with me," Thomas said, getting up from the table. Richard followed Thomas to his office where they could get some privacy. Thomas shut the door behind them, turned the key for good measure and switched on the light giving the room a soft glow. He took Richard by the hand and guided him to the centre of the room.

"Mistletoe?" Richard asked. "I believe we have been in this situation before?"

"Yes although that wasn't actually on Christmas day was it?"

"No, this is better," Richard agreed as Thomas placed his hand on the centre of Richard's chest and kissed him gently on the lips a couple of times before Richard kissed him back.

Thomas stepped back. "I've got something for you." Thomas left Richard's embrace to go to a drawer in his desk that he kept locked and pulled out a small box. It hadn't been wrapped except for a delicate red ribbon tied in a bow around it. Thomas cleared a space on the desk and perched himself on the corner of the table, Richard sat close up next to him, following his lead. "I didn't know what to get you, so I thought I'd get you something that you would never forget. But before I give it to you, I need to say something first." Richard nodded. "Richard Ellis I love you. I think I loved you from the moment I saw you, when I was stressed out of my mind with you lot from the palace arriving. I had nothing really before you. I had friends but I didn't know what it meant to love and to be loved, without condition, in return. I never thought in a million years that I would ever find someone like you. You are perfect, and exactly what I needed, even if I didn't know it at the time. I love the way you smile at me when we wake up next to each other every morning. The way you trust me, even when I am being an idiot. I love the fact that you can look good wearing anything, even when you are all wet and covered in mud. I love how you make me feel when you kiss me." Thomas took a shaky breath. "I'm not sure if I am saying all this right, cause as I said, I've never done this before but I want you to have this as a symbol that I am yours, always and forever."

Richard's heart was full to bursting, listening to Thomas declare his feelings. He knew that Thomas loved him, of course he did but something was different now. He took the small box from Thomas and untied the ribbon and opened it. He had guessed before, but didn't really believe it until he saw what lay inside. A shiny gold ring, glinted in the dim lamplight of the room. Richard blinked holding off the moisture threatening to fall from his eyes. "Thomas I-"

"You like it?" Thomas asked nervously.

"I love it and everything you said before giving it to me," Richard hesitated. "It's just that I can hardly believe it."

"It's real. Allow me?" Thomas asked. He took the ring out the box and placed it on Richard's finger, the one that, if things were different, they would wear a wedding band on.

"You know, it is a good job we are so like minded Mr Barrow," Richard said, still looking in disbelief at what was on his finger. He never thought he'd see that. "You see I got you something too, as you know, it almost cost me Christmas with you, but I hope you won't mind now." Richard reached inside his jacket and pulled out a similar small blue box. Thomas felt his heart do a backflip. "You and me, Thomas. That's how it is isn't it? I would walk across the world if it meant that I could be with you just for a minute. But we found a home together. I may come across as someone who hasn't a care in the world, but it hasn't always been that way and I'm not sure I ever have been. I was, for years, lost. I was lonely, angry sometimes, deprived of love that only a man like you could give me. I wonder what it might have been like if we had met several years earlier, but I am happy to dismiss those thoughts as, what I have, with you, is perfection personified Thomas. Fate and a decision made by the King of England meant that I found you, and peace. I will, forever, be yours. Even if the world will never get to see it, you will always know it." Richard stopped talking and opened the box he was holding, "I'd ask you if you'd be mine, but I know that you already are." Thomas looked at the ring in the box, gold like the one he gave Richard. "Can I-?"

"Yes," Thomas said, answering both of Richard's questions at once, grinning like a fool, and holding out his hand as Richard pushed the ring onto his finger.

"So that just happened," Richard said.

"Almost married," Thomas added. "All we need now is a priest."

"No, we don't. We know what we have right here without someone else having to publicly declare it, " Richard said as he took Thomas's hand and kissed it.

…

Stephen stopped outside the barn that he and Daniel had agreed to meet in and put his hands to his mouth to help echo his owl call he was making. That was their signal they agreed on. He waited in the dark until he heard the same call come back at him. It was a good system, and had worked well since they had begun using it. Stephen reckoned it would only fail if an actual owl called back at him and not Daniel, but he didn't think his bird calls were that good. The moon shone out briefly between some fast moving clouds overhead, before disappearing again. Stephen smiled when he heard the owl call from the direction of the barn. No one seemed to use this place and the padlock was old and so, easy to remove. It was always possible that the barn would be used again one day but almost certainly not in the late evening on Christmas day. He opened the large wooden door and quietly slipped inside shutting it behind him. The barn was dark and there was no sign of Daniel which instantly put Stephen on edge and he thought about getting out of there as soon as he could, but then he saw a flash of lamp light from the hay loft above him at the opposite end of the barn. "Hello?" he called out.

"Up here," Daniel said, appearing at the top of the ladder with the lamp.

Stephen pocketed his torch and climbed halfway up. "Can you take this from me?" he said to Daniel who leant over the top of the ladder and took the bottle of wine from him.

"Fancy stuff," Daniel said, looking at the label. "Steal this from Downton did you?" He asked, though without any hint of judgement.

"Course not! Mr Barrow gave it to me," Stephen said as he climbed over the top of the ladder and onto the hay loft floor.

"Didn't think you did. Does he know you're here with me?"

"No, well he knows I'm out and I reckon he and Mr Ellis guessed I was coming to see you, but he doesn't know where," Stephen said.

"Mr Ellis is back then?," Daniel asked.

"Yeah, he walked eight miles in the snow to get to Downton in time for Christmas dinner. Well that's the official story but he obviously walked that far for Thomas," Stephen said following Daniel to the back of the loft where some hay bales had been arranged to create a small room. "Did you do all this?" he asked looking around.

"Had to make myself busy until you got away," Daniel said, lying down on the ground resting his arms behind his head. "It's quite comfy for what it is."

Stephen crawled over and laid down next to Daniel on his side so that he was facing him. "I've missed you," he said, pushing himself closer to Daniel.

"I saw you only this morning," Daniel said.

"But you were with your parents. So we had to be...different in front of them," Stephen said. His hand had found its way onto Daniel's hip and then up to the small of his back.

"Don't be different now, be you," Daniel said. He kissed Stephen first on the forehead and then on the lips.

"What did you tell your parents?" Stephen asked.

"Didn't tell them. I'm not a kid, didn't see why I should have to tell them I was going out, so I just left," Daniel said. He sighed. "I want to get my own place you know, so then we could meet in an actual building."

"Maybe in time, we will figure things out until then," Stephen said.

"You have more faith than I do Stephen," Daniel said, stroking the back of Stephen's golden hair. "Must be all those novels you read. It's made you a romantic."

"Do you mind?" Stephen asked, leaning on his elbow, looking down at Daniel.

Daniel grinned, "Not really. Not now." Stephen kissed Daniel tenderly at first then, as Daniel kissed him back, he felt things intensify between them and soon he was lying half on, half off Daniel. "How long can you stay?" 

"Until just before midnight," Stephen answered.

"Well that's perfect then," Daniel said as he put an arm around Stephen's lower back, pulling him further down onto him.


End file.
